Fandom: EssGeeWun Oh yeah, I so totally DID leave this fandom! *eye roll* This is fun. Peoples! keep challenging me! please?
Title: The Lucky Ones
Author: Venom_69
Category: Romance, fluff, humor
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG
Summary: Sam’s very mad at Jack…
Spoilers: None
Season/sequel: None.
Archive: SJ, Heliopolis, my site. Anywhere else, sure, just let me know where so I can come visit.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, never will. Promise to put them back in the state I found them. Song isn’t mine either.
Author’s notes: For Colonel Jack, cause she asked.
Feedback: Hell yeah! Don’t make me beg, hit reply and stroke my ego please.
Dedication: As always, for LEW.
Date: 08/01/2005
Copyright © to Venom, 2005

***

I know, we are
We are the lucky ones

***

Despite what people may have thought, he wasn’t stupid. He may act the part very well, but even he couldn’t be obtuse to the fact that is girlfriend- snicker- was pissed at him. Very pissed.

She’d gone to the work three days ago, stomping around their – he loved that word- house, slamming the door behind her and hadn’t been back since. Normally, he would have worried.

But he knew that SG-1 weren’t scheduled to go on any missions for another week, and if they had been sent off to save another SG team’s ass, she would have called him. Pissed or not.

So, yeah. Not so dumb.

He knew she was pissed at him. Knew he had screwed up somewhere along the way. He just wasn’t sure when or how. Or what he’d done.

He had been very vigilant in keeping the toilet seat down for her. He didn’t leave his dirty (or clean) socks or underwear on the floor anymore. He kept his boots by the door like she wanted. He washed up, he shaved. He cut the grass. He didn’t fart around her. He was considerate in every way he could be. But she was still pissed.

Nope, no clue.

It was probably a bad idea to have a confrontation on base, but if she wasn’t planning to come home anytime soon, he figured that it was better to have this out with her now, rather than later. And Thor was running late, so he had time.

Rounding the corner and entering her lab he was, once again, struck by how, well, hot she was. Yeah, he was articulate. Snort.

She looked up from her experiment as he neared her, and picked up the first thing that she found. Jack saw the item in her hand and knew that she would be even more pissed if she broke it. And it would be his fault. Naturally.

Stepping forwards, he grabbed her wrist, opened her palm and pulled the very delicate and very expensive piece of equipment from her grasp, placing in on the bench. Picking up a less vital object, he put that in her hand, closed her fist and stepped back to where he was, eyes screwed closed as he waited for the object to connect with his head.

Oh boy, she really *was* pissed.

Pissed off Carter wasn’t good for anyone, least of all him. Because if she was pissed off, it was still his fault somehow. Which meant no sex. Which sucked. And it meant her moping around for says, snapping at him. Which sucked more. And it meant he couldn’t snuggle with her. And that sucked the most. But he wouldn’t admit that. Had a reputation to protect and all.

The collision never came, and Jack slowly- and very carefully- opened one eye to squint at her. She was glaring at him, and he was tempted to curl up in a ball and whimper in the corner. Tempted.

“You can throw it.” He offered weakly, slowly opening the other eye when, again, no collision came.

The glare was still there though.

Damn.

"If I didn't love you, and could be bothered with all the paperwork, I'd kill you!" Well, it was an improvement from the silent treatment, but not by much.

“I put the toilet seat down!” He protested, for lack of a better response.

So his girlfriend – snicker- wanted to kill him. What else was new? It wasn’t like he was the only man in the world dealing with a hormonal woman… oh! It was *that* time of the month. Riiiiiight. He got it now.

But he wasn’t stupid enough to say it. He knew that only made women crankier. He’d made that mistake once, with Sara. She’d given him a look that clearly said “if I could stand the sight of any more blood right now I would rip your head off and feed your brains to the dog with a spoon your worthless sack of shit. Don’t think you’re ever coming near me again!”

He only ever made the mistake once. See, he was smart.

“This isn’t about your stupid peeing habits, Jack!”

The way she said his name made his toes curl. Not in the good way.

“Sam, tell me what I did so I can fix it?’

She glared. And it was so clearly one of those “If you don’t know why should I tell you?” glares. Damn. This was not going well.

“Please?” He was not above begging. Not for her.

“You knocked me up you asshole!”

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to do it! I promise that I will never, ever, ever do it again. Ever. Really. I didn’t intentionally try to kno- I knocked you up!?”

“Yes.” She grated.

“Cool!” Open mouth. Insert foot up to ankle, and swallow hard.

“Cool? You don’t have to deal with it!”

No, he thought, but I do have to deal with *you* which may be just as bad. He couldn’t help it, he really couldn’t. He was going to start bouncing soon. Maybe. If she stopped looking at him like a homicidal maniac with a weapon hidden somewhere on that hot body. That *pregnant* hot body. Squee!

How could she not be happy about this? Did she not want… oh no. Oh crap. Shit. Fuck. Bugger. “Sam?”

“What?”

Fear clutched at his heart. She wouldn’t abort, he told himself. She isn’t that kind of person. She’s so good with kids. But she does look like she wants to rip my balls off and feed them to me. Oh God, no. Hail Mary, if you stop her for terminating I promise that I will go to Church every Sunday. I will stop having pre-marital sex- not like Sam would let him near her again anyway- I will praise you to all of my friends. Please, please, please. “Do you not want a baby?”

She softened then, hearing the fear. “Yes, I do.” The admittance allowed Jack to breathe again. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be nice to you for the next six and a half months!

“I can live with that.” He could. He grinned. A really big, shit-eating my-boys-are-still-going-strong kind of grin. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She replied, and he relished the sweet and caring side of his – snicker- girlfriend. “But I’m still gonna kick your ass for this.”

He was very ok with that.

***

Endy.