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Title: New Years. Author: Ky (venom69) Rating: Teens Disclaimer: Usual crap - Not mine, nothing bad intended.
Summary: She is able to spend thirty minutes as a woman enjoying the company of a friend, while still being a Leader In
Charge. Authors Notes: Written as a Gigantic THANK YOU ZOMG YOU RAWK! for  quietlybemused as she provided PRH love. Sorry it took so long hon.
Date: 17/08/06
***
Where
do we go from here?
The battle's done
And we kinda won
So we sound our victory cheer
Where do we go from here?
***
She spends most of the first year with her head jammed up her own
ass, brushing her teeth through her navel.
365 days so convinced that Atlantis
wont survive without a leader who is solely focused on what they are doing there.
Selfishly, she convinces herself that her total dedication,
her total cynosure, is what the city needs. That her work ethic will mean
the difference between success and failure.
With practiced ease, born from years of diplomatic training, she pushes
away the attraction she feels for him and the desires she has to form friendships with them.
When they socialize - which is not often in the city - she will make her
token appearance before returning to the safety of her office. They are able to
act freely without her, she tells herself. It
doesn't completely dispel the loneliness, but it helps a little.
While she remains uptight and focused, the others begin to relax around her,
but she doesn't really see it for what it is.
Teyla offers to train with her and Elizabeth spends several hours with
sweat dripping down the back of her neck, effectively getting her ass kicked while she masters the art of hand-to-hand combat
the Athosian way. But that's work, so it's OK.
Rodney has a cup of coffee with her in the Lab. every Wednesday that he is
in the City. It's their thing. He tells her amusing stories about the going-ons of the City -
though he usually doesn't intend them to be that way - and she is able to spend thirty minutes as a woman enjoying the company
of a friend, while still being a Leader In Charge.
Carson approaches her to discuss a 'potential medical crisis' and before
her brain can start freaking out about bacteria and pathogens and infections and lock-downs and quarantines, he continues
by saying that they're running low on condoms already.
John makes a comment about grandchildren and she is struck with the powerful
image of her red shirt stretched over a protruding belly, a child kicking within as she waddles about the 'Gate room.
None of it is enough to suppress her perfectionist nature, so she
pushes all of the little pleasures and images aside and works twice as hard.
A game of solitaire is her only reprieve
and she feels guilty for even that much.
The year, while full of wonder, discovery and
amazement, kinda sucks for her.
At the end of the year, they hold something akin to a party. She spends New Year's Eve - The Atlantis equivalent, anyway - writing reviews for the
medical staff.
***
During the second year she gets her heart broken.
Well, not broken exactly.
More like bruised. But
that could be her ego more than her heart.
Simon tells her that he wont come with her back
to Atlantis. He gently - as gentle as possible, anyway - tells her that he's met someone.
Insider of her, there is a 2 year old child that wants to fall to the floor
and kick and scream at the unfairness of it. But there is also an emotionally scared woman that wants to reply; "I think I
have too."
She doesn't say that.
She does, however, go back to Atlantis alone.
Despite the temptation to run and hide, her
head doesn't automatically go back up her ass, but she still spend too many hours working.
Her attraction for him is beyond obvious now, she thinks, and her
desire to form friendships with them has motivated her into socializing for more than ten minutes a stretch.
Teyla still trains with her when they both have the time. She's developed
a real fondness for the Athosian leader and despite the fact that she now knows what it feels like to be concussed and delirious,
their sessions have come in handy.
Rodney's stories get better and Elizabeth can't help but think it coincidental
that he becomes more tolerable of others once coffee becomes a regular item on the re-stocking list.
Carson approaches her with another potential medical crisis and before he
can finish speaking, Elizabeth tells him that she's ordered a shipment of condoms to come - no pun intended - on the next
Deadelus run. She doesn't even look up from her file as Carson mutters something about
testing her for telepathy.
John makes it with the Bimbo Of The Week and then blatantly lies to her about
it and she thinks, isn't that interesting? She doesn't let herself believe that it means anything, but she does take
comfort in the fact that he doesn't flaunt his 'activities.' (Though kissing her when they're under the influence of alien
control and in a room full of their colleagues is a little obvious, but not totally his fault.)
They have a party for New Year's and her token appearance is slightly longer
this time, but she greets midnight by playing a pinball game that Caldwell downloaded for her.
***
She goes crazy in the third year.
At least, she thinks she does.
Hospitals, white coats, visiting hours, restraints on the bed, bad food, drugs, needles.
It's all still pretty much a jumble in her head and she tries desperately
not to think about it. She has a flash of memory from 'that' life every now and then,
but she doesn't tell anyone about them.
Teyla let's her beat out her frustrations, blocking her potentially dangerous
blows but not really hitting back. There's an understanding between them that whatever happens in the Gym, stays in the Gym
and Elizabeth doesn't feel guilty for the few tears she sheds even though they could easily be mistaken for sweat. She doubts
that the other woman is fooled for a second.
Rodney supplies cake when they next have coffee. Triple chocolate cake with
rich chocolate icing. She thinks that she can feel her hips protesting just looking at it, but it doesn't stop her from eating
three slices with her coffee while he regales her with a tale of catching two of the other
scientists in the closet, both in various states of undress.
Carson offers her the medical advice, the option of professional counseling.
He offers sedatives to help her sleep and tries to make her feel better in the only way he knows how. In the end, though,
she tells him that she's OK, but has a lot of work to do. He smiles and reminds her to order more condoms. It's their thing
now.
Ronon comes to see her, a few nights
after she 'gets back.' He slips quietly into her office and she is not sure exactly how
long he stands there before she notices him. He tells her that she is strong and that he is not worried for or about her because
he knows that she will be OK. She thanks him, let's him walk her to her room, says goodbye quietly and then cries while
she showers, her tears dancing with the hot water that beats against her skin.
John doesn't really say much. But he doesn't really need to. Not to her,
at least. He's there when she wakes up, he holds her hand while Carson explains what happened. He gives her a hug when she
looks like she needs it and while, mostly, he leaves her to her thoughts, he has a habit of showing up right when she
thinks she's going to break.
They have another party for New Year.
She spends almost an hour there, even has a glass of spiked punch, before
retreating to her office. This year she greets midnight by standing on the balcony, watching the celebrations in the 'Gate
room with a soft smile on her face, silently longing to be one of them.
***
In the fourth year she is fed on.
They try to make another alliance with the Wraith and it ends
particularly badly for her.
For three days, negotiations are strained and the air is tense. Neither side
are getting what they want and when she trudges back to their temporary camp on the neutral planet chosen for the duration, Elizabeth ends up frustrated and irritated.
Her blood thunders loudly through her veins, her heart beats wildly and,
after, she thinks that she must have looked like a three course Meal to the Wraith representative.
Teyla calmly raises an eyebrow when Elizabeth demands more training. She
simply tells her that there is very little one can do to stop a Wraith from feeding. Logically, she knows that there was nothing
she could do to stop them. But the other woman teaches her new moves anyway.
Rodney doesn't offer cake on the following
Wednesday. No chocolate to speak of. But he does produce a bottle of Tequila and tells her to come back at the end of her
shift. She works in her office for the day and then spends an hour doing slammers in the Lab.
Carson comes to her office every hour, on the hour, and takes a blood sample.
He's concerned about her becoming like Ford. He says that she wasn't injected with very much Enzyme - apparently the process
was stopped to soon for that - but he's still cautious. He doesn't raise an eyebrow or
bat an eyelid on the Thursday morning. Her blood alcohol must have still been through the roof, but he just pats her hand
and reminds her that his condom requisition order didn't come - no pun intended.
Ronon, once again, stands in the doorway
to her office and he quietly admits that he admires her strength. I have seen what can become of people that are
fed on and survive, he says, and of all the people I've seen, I think you'll survive the best.
John catches her studying her reflection in the mirror - is that a new wrinkle?
Another grey hair? - and he tells her that she's beautiful but disappears out of her office
before she is forced to answer.
New Years is spent in the comfort of her room.
It's too soon for her to venture out into
the lively party going on in the 'Gate room, but she leaves the door open, listens to the music of laughter and hopes for
better next year.
***
In the fifth year, they defeat the Wraith.
It's not nearly as spectacular as she'd imagined
and they suffer heavy casualties along the way.
After their failed negotiations - which subsequently
resulted in her being someone's appetizer - the battle is long and drawn out. They fight them in Atlantis, on their Home
World, on innocent planets with women and children watching, wide-eyed.
They fight until it's clear that there are
no more Wraith coming for them and the battle's done.
Mourning their losses, and the losses of innocent
people, takes it's toll on all of them and before they know it, New years Eve dawns and they decide to have a last-minute
party.
It's a relaxed environment and, unlike the other parties they've held, this
one is alive with a group of friends simply enjoying the chance to sit down and chat.
At one point, someone starts an arm wrestling competition - after
they make sure Ronon has had a few drinks - and Elizabeth sits back with a contented
smile on her face as she watched her friends and colleagues interact.
She has the chance to talk with each of them. And
their conversation is more than just training, witty stories, condom horrors or things that make her stomach flutter.
They are friends now.
She is one of them.
Rodney tells her that he suspects he's drunk. Then he falls asleep for a
few moments, standing up, shocks himself awake by almost falling over and then emphatically denies it. He tries to put his
hands on his hips in protest of their laughter, but he misses completely and finally does end up on the floor, which makes
them laugh more.
Teyla stands an empty beer bottle on her head, instructing Elizabeth to do
the same, for it will provide patience and balance. When it falls to the floor and shatters, she laughs that, perhaps, they
will need to work on that a bit more in their next training session.
Carson still wants to talk to her about condoms - and with all of the inebriated
people around them, Elizabeth can't really blame him - but when she promises to order more, he changes the topic to childhood
memories.
Ronon, while being an emotional drunk,
appears to also be a logical one. If there was no way for you to get home, he says, slurring slightly, and you
could only make one trip through the 'Gate... how much toilet paper did you have to bring? You were facing a potential lifetime
cut off from your world. Apparently his people don't have toilet paper as they know it, but Elizabeth doesn't ask for
clarification and she can't really answer his question anyway.
John walks her back to her room, passed midnight and passed the dawning of
the new year. They reminisce, quietly, laughing softly and flirting gently. He
tells her that in the beginning, she was a perfect leader for them, she just needed to get the pole out of her ass.
When she shares her theory about her head having been there, he asks if it
was cramped.
She hits him for that comment and then he pushes her backwards, uncaring
of the fact that she is tripping over her own feet, and kisses her soundly, trapping
her between the cold wall and his firm chest.
Of all of them, Elizabeth likes how
this year turned out the best.
***
End
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