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Mature People Only!

Title: Stripped
Author: Ky (venom69)
Fandom: Atlantis
Category: Humor, Romance-ish
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Rating: Mature People.
Words: 1229
Summary: Set during Intruders.
Archive: My site. Anywhere else, sure, just let me know where so I can come visit.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, never will. Promise to put them back in the state I found them. Song’s not mine either.
Author’s notes: Cross posted everywhere. This was written for [info]speckleberry, who asked for a fic about Strip Monopoly after a conversation we had one day.
Copyright to Venom, 2006


You never count your money
When you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’


It's roughly about the time that she's folding her black bra into a neat little package that she thinks, this was a really bad idea.

She folds one cup up into the other, tucking the straps in the small bowl that they create and the colourful flower that holds the two cups together juts out a little. The silk is then placed delicately on top of her socks - she lost them fairly early on - and she turns to face her opponent once more. "Your turn."

"You cheated!" He gasps.

The art of taking a bra off without removing one's shirt or exposing any skin is one that woman have perfected and still use to confuse men.

She would take his accusation more seriously if there wasn't an amused glint in his eye. "You're just jealous that you can't do that."

He smiles at her.

A slow, seductive, devious little smile and Elizabeth knows for certain that choosing to discard her bra as opposed to her T-shirt or pants was a really big mistake.

Johns eyes flick down, back up, down once more and then he meets her gaze again and she knows that him doing that really hasn't helped her little, er, problem(s).

Damnit, she thinks grumpily, why are these shirts red?

"Your move." She repeats, uncomfortable under his stare.

John rolls the dice, gets a total of six and moves to stand on Oxford Street. "I'll buy it."

How surprising! She learnt early on in their game that John Sheppard is the type to buy anything and everything. Including the electricity company and she's never known anyone to want that. In retaliation, she is buying everything that she can as well – when not in jail where her little dog currently resides.

Elizabeth is playing the bank - something about her being the mort honest of the two. She wont mention the $500 notes she's tucked away under the board - and he hands her the money. She passes him back the card and his change and pretends not to feel any kind of spark as their fingers touch.

The Deadelus had been travelling for a few days before John sought her out, citing boredom. Elizabeth wasn't that shocked - if anything, she was shocked it had taken quite so long to happen - and she'd suggested he play Solitaire.

Apparently he didn't have the patience for it.

But, oh, hey, there's a Monopoly board game floating around, would she be so kind as to entertain him?

In her defence, when she had agreed to 'entertain him' with a game of monopoly, she hadn't foreseen the bottle of alcohol he would bring out or the suggestion to 'keep things a little more interesting' he would make.

If you landed on a train station, not only did you have to pay the fee – or buy it – you had to have a sip of whatever it was in his unlabelled bottle.

If you landed on 'go to jail' (or were sent there by a card) then you lost an article of clothing.

“Strip Monopoly,” he had said, “much more interesting than Chess.”

In future, if she's asked - or if they get caught - Elizabeth is going to emphatically declare that they started drinking before they started playing.

John is still mostly dressed, having lost his socks and dog tags early in the game.

Picking up the dice, she rolls them and is delighted when double three’s come up. Out of jail. She buys what she lands on so he can’t complete his orange set and mess her about with houses and hotels.

They continue their game silently. She lands on the water company, pays her fine and next turn rolls double one’s.

Go to jail.


Elizabeth moves her traitorous silver dog into the jail square that she so recently vacated, stands quickly and removes her pants. Her shirt is long, it covers her modestly. Mostly. If he sees anything, it would be little more than a scrap of black material with the same colourful flower in the centre.

It takes a further three turns – and John ending up in jail beside her and thus forfeiting his shirt – before she thinks to use her ‘get out of jail free’ card.

When she rolls the dice, she lands on the next train station and takes a hearty swig out of the bottle before she buys it.

He is out next go and lands on ‘free parking’ with his double five’s. He pockets the $2,700 tucked under the corner of the board and takes a sip of alcohol to ‘make her feel better.’

John continues to buy anything and everything and then he starts adding houses – this is going to be over very soon, she thinks.

This is good because, next spin, she lands on Community Chest and is given the ‘Go to Jail’ card.

Her underwear joins the pile.


Elizabeth bought Mayfair on her first trip around the board and she has been trying to convince him to sell Park Lane ever since.

She’s offered him her rail stations, money, Maryborough and Piccadilly Circuit – which would complete both his yellow and orange sets – but he has declined all of them.

Unless she can somehow coax it out of him, she is going to loose.

That will just not do.

She may be holding up two of his sets but he still has all of the green, red and light blue. She’s got $500 left and he’s not landing on any of the properties she built up.

On the bright side, she’s not been to jail in almost an hour.

When she lands on Bond Street, she has to mortgage Kings Cross Station to pay his rent, but he lands on Trafalgar Square next and she gets some money back.

“I’ll give you three full laps of the board for free if you give me Park Lane.”

“I could go three laps and land on all my own properties,” He points out with a smirk. “Your offer doesn’t guarantee I get anything out of it.”

Elizabeth narrows her eyes and used her best diplomat’s voice. “What do you want for Park Lane?”

“Let me think about it.”


They play in silence for a while.

John sits in his boxer shorts – and that answers that question – and there is a bulge there but Elizabeth doesn’t think about it as she continues to tug her shirt down self-consciously.

The game is going in circles now, as Monopoly often does, with her landing on one of his properties, mortgaging something, paying the rent and fearing her next turn.

Inevitably, he lands on one of her properties with a hotel on it, pays her rent and she is able to buy back her properties and continue on.

Round and round and round they go.

"I'll trade you Park Lane for your T-Shirt." He offers eventually, his dark eyes serious.

They agreed not to bet with articles of clothing - though they were both bound to wind up naked sooner or later anyway - and they agreed to keep the stripping part mostly separate from the actual game.

If she gives up her shirt, she's naked in front of him and his wandering eyes.

Elizabeth holds out her hand to receive the blue card. "Deal."