Category: Smut, Romance, Angst
Summary: Loosing Daniel was like loosing a brother…loosing you was the worst loss of my life since my mother’s
Season/sequel: Set after Paradise Lost.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, never will. Promise
to put them back in the state I found them.
Author’s notes: I was Challenged, and I wrote it.
always, for LEW. For Divine Joker, Happy birthday hon.
Copyright © to Venom, 2003
everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you
in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
Britney Spears, Everytime.
her standing there, framed in the light of her living room, with the ethereal glow surrounding her body only made him realize
that he hadn’t lost the feelings. That their month’s separation had only made him want her more, ache for her
Being stuck on that Moon with Maybourne had only served to remind him what he’d left behind, who he’d
She didn’t seem overly surprised to see him standing in the rain on her doorstep at midnight. But,
then again, she’d probably only been home herself for a short time.
“I didn’t wake you?” He
asked, eyeing the large housecoat that she wore. Actually, the dark blue flannel made her look really cute, but he wouldn’t
be telling her that.
Sam shook her head slowly. “Not at all sir.”
“Good.” He blew out
a long breath and buried his hands in the pockets of his jeans rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, feeling like
Unconsciously looking around, Sam bit her bottom lip in mild concentration. “Would you like some coffee?”
She offered uncomfortably.
He’d barely made it to the parking lot when
Teal’c cornered him. Fraiser had released him and recommended sleep and rest for the next two days, and he’s been
on his way home when Teal’c had stepped out of the shadows.
His roughly spoken “O’Neill” had
scared the hell out of him.
“T, don’t do that to me!”
Respectfully, Teal’c had bowed
his head. “My apologies. I presume that you are returning to your residence?”
Jack nodded. “Yeah,
The Doc says I need sleep. Figured my bed was more comfortable than the base.”
“That is most accurate.
I do believe that it would be wise for you to see about Major Carter first.”
Jack blinked, surprised at his friend’s
suggestion. Teal'c knew the situation, knew why he and Carter didn’t interact when not at the base. He knew why ‘meetings’
between them were never mentioned, and never happened. “What’s wrong with Carter?”
most distressed during the period of your absence.”
“I witness her distress
in the locker room.”
“She was most upset. I found her crying.”
found that hard to believe. Carter didn’t show emotion on base. Especially none that involved him. But Teal’c
never lied…and Jack couldn’t remember a time when he was wrong.
She was keeping herself occupied
with making their coffee, and was taking extra care with the preparation.
“I spoke to Teal’c.”
“He told me.”
She made a small ‘oh’ sound, but didn’t say anything, and didn’t
look up from pouring the milk into her coffee. She was still beautiful to him, even as she blinked slowly and stood seemingly
frozen in time.
He watched with piqued interest as she continued to pour the milk, even as it spilled over the sides
of the mug and onto her island bench. The white liquid continued to cascade over the edge and drip to her floor as she poured.
Jack reached over and grasped her unoccupied hand with his, while the other stopped the flow of milk as he took the
container from her and grasped her other hand.
It was then that he realized that she was crying.
He murmured, rising from his place on her stool to pull her into his embrace.
“Sorry.” She sniffed, but
the word was muffled against his chest.
“It’s ok.” He soothed, even though he had no idea what he
was comforting her about. His hands had, unconsciously, started rubbing small circles across her back.
back a little to look at him, her eyes red and puffy from the tears that she had shed. By the look of her, he doubted that
this was the first time she’d cried that night.
The use of her first name was meant
to be a comforting gesture, but it only served to upset her more. The salty tears were trickling slowly down her cheeks as
she stared at him through sad eyes.
“Sam?” He asked again, worried by her continued silence.
expected her to brush him off, claim that she was ok and pull out of his arms at record speed. He expected her to, maybe,
talk to him for a bit before closing off as the conversation became personal. He expected her to smile. He never expected
her to reach up and kiss him like she was going to die tomorrow.
“Sam…no,” He managed to force the
words out past her plundering tongue, but she ignored him and pulled his face down more forcefully to deepen the kiss.
grabbed her shoulders and held her at arms length. “You don’t want this…..” He warned.
“You’re not thinking straight…” He protested, and then wondered *why* he was
protesting. Wasn’t this everything that he had ever wanted throughout the past seven years? Wasn’t this exactly
what he’d spent that past month- and more- dreaming about?
So, why was he trying to push her away?
don’t care.” She growled.
He stepped back from her, putting some distance from her intoxicating scent and
his overactive hormones. “I do.”
She let out a heart-wrenching sob at that, hiding her face in embarrassment.
Seeing her like this, so ashamed of herself and her feelings, only made the ache worsen for him and Jack pulled her to him
with a softly spoken “C’mere.”
He wasn’t surprised when she only let him hold her for a moment
before pulling back and wiping at her eyes. “I really should get some sleep.” She had the next week off to sleep,
but he understood why she said it.
“Sure.” He nodded. “Have a good Holiday?”
It didn’t sit right with him, leaving her alone like he did, but he left anyway. Figuratively
kicking himself the whole drive home.
Jack figured that he’d been inside maybe five minute’s when he’d
reached for the phone and dialed her number, waiting three rings until her heard her sleepy voice mumble something closely
“Sir, didn’t you just leave?” She asked,
and he could hear the amusement.
He chuckled a bit, but it was forced. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”
“I’m fine sir.” Her ‘sir’ was hiccuped, and he knew she was still crying.
sniffled, and somehow made it sound attractive, before she replied. “Losing Daniel was like losing a brother... but
losing you was the worst loss of my life, since my mother died.”
He stopped blinking then. And breathing. Jack
was pretty damn sure that his heart had stopped beating too.
Carter must’ve taken his pause as a negative response
because the next thing she said was; “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” And then all he could
hear was the beeping of the dial tone.
He sat with the phone clutched to his ear, listening to the beep for well over
When she’d picked the lock on his front door, he knows that he’ll never know. When
she took the phone away from his hand, he knows that he’ll never know that either. But he’ll never, ever, forget
exactly when she kissed him and pulled him to a somewhat lying position on his couch.
It was 1:47 am.
around about the time she pressed his hand to her breast that he came back to himself. He groaned, but it was lost somewhere
between her tongue in his mouth and her hand undoing the button on his jeans.
“Wait,” He murmured, and
she pulled back- from all parts of him, damnit- to look at him with a puzzled expression.
“You don’t want
this?” She guessed, and he saw the embarrassed flush slowly creep up her neck.
“Oh, I want this.”
And certain parts of him twitched to emphasize his point. “But I think my bed would be more comfortable, don’t
She grinned, and rose from the couch. The buttons on her shirt were slowly being undone, and his hands
were no where near them. He watched, utterly fascinated–attention span of a three-year-old? I don’t think so!-as
she undid each one slowly in his own private strip show.
Much as he would’ve liked to just stay
on the couch and enjoy the show, he wanted to be *part* of the show even more. Rising from the soft fabric of his furniture,
Jack stopped her before she managed to get the last two buttons undone.
“Let me.” He whispered, bending
down slightly to claim her lips once more.
Jack could feel her grinning against his mouth, and he knew that she could
feel his matching smirk. His hand pulled at the buttons on her top, and it was pulled off her shoulders with some interesting
acrobatics-Carter was surprisingly flexible, cool!-as he tried to keep their mouths connected.
They stumbled around
the couch and headed for the hallway, eyes closed and mouths connected. Reaching the long corridor of his house, Jack pushed
her hard against the wall as he flicked the clasp of her bra off, and he dropped it to the floor as she worked on the buttons
of his flannel shirt.
The pad of his thumb barely brushed against her nipple and he heard her mutter “Tease”
around his lips.
Grinning proudly, Jack broke their kiss to bend and pull a nipple into his mouth, tugging on it with
his teeth until it became and erect point, hard and wet. “You think so?” He asked, a cocky smile accompanying
“Two can play at that game.” She threatened, and before he hand a chance to reply she had pushed
him backwards and slightly diagonal- hey, they were getting to the bedroom- until he was the one against the wall, and she
was on her knees pulling his loose pants down to his ankles and off.
He could see where this was going- and really,
who couldn’t?- but he still wasn’t quite prepared for the feeling he got when she grabbed his erection, pulled
it through the button opening of his silk boxers and sucked him deep into her mouth.
She pulled back then, blowing a stream of deliciously cold air across the wet tip of his erection. She looked up at
him expectantly and he nodded in compliance. “Tease.”
Laughing, he pulled Sam to her feet and tugged at
the sweat pants that she wore.
“Eager?” She teased.
“I’m not the one who jumped on
a catatonic man.” He returned with a grin.
Their lips joined again and the stumbled further towards his bedroom,
stopping at the entry way to pull the last of their clothing off until they were both naked. A quick appraisal of each other’s
bodies was conducted until lips were mashed back together, and Jack’s hands were buried between her legs.
moan of pleasure was matched with one from himself, finding her hot and wet. He teased her tended flesh, spreading her desire
as they stumbled through the entry way to his room.
“Bed,” He told her.
her breathless reply, pulling him with her as they awkwardly stumbled to the floor.
They landed in a tangle of limbs,
and she managed to maneuver herself so that he was cradled between her milky thighs. Jack found himself really, *really* wanting
to go down on her, to taste her, but Sam seemed to have other ideas. Grasping his erection firmly, she guided him to her and
he sank into her depths in one smooth motion.
Jack stilled himself inside of her, allowing her tight muscles to stretch
around him. He saw her small flinch of pain as her entered her, and he froze, trying to avoid hurting her any further than
“I’m alright.” She smiled, wiggling her hips to encourage his movement.
nodded. “It’s been awhile.”
He couldn’t help the swell of pride that he felt at her words.
“Good.” He murmured, and began to move within her.
Using long, deep thrusts, Jack angles his hips so that
with each in-stroke, his pelvic bone would collide with her clitoris. He could tell that she appreciated it, the sounds of
her moans filling his bedroom.
Neither of them were going to last long, already highly aroused from their nomadic
foreplay, but he was determined to make it last long enough to see them both satisfied.
“God,” She whimpered
after a particularly deep thrust.
He wanted to reply, but the words caught in the back of his throat as he felt her
internal muscles contracting around his painfully hard length. She came, moaning his name as she surrendered herself to the
exquisite oblivion that awaited her in orgasm. Jack followed her over the edge, a wordless cry on his lips, shooting his seed
deep within her body to internally mark her as his.
With their bodies still intertwined, they lay panting. Jack was
well aware that he was grinning stupidly, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “We almost made it to the bed.”
Sam giggled. “We’ll get there next time.”
Jack’s expression turned serious for a moment.
“Are you sure that you want there to be a next time?”