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Title: Cry Alone
Author: Venom_69
Category: Angst.
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating:
PG-13 for sexual situations.
Summary: She’s cries alone.
Spoilers: None.
Season/sequel: Set in season 7-8,
Sequel to my Fic “Lie Alone”
Archive: SJ, Heliopolis, my site. Anywhere else, sure, just let me know where
so I can come visit.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, never will. Promise to put them back in the state I found them.
Author’s notes: I’m Thinkin’ trilogy here.
Feedback: Hell yeah! Don’t make me beg, hit reply
and stroke my ego please.
Dedication: As always, for LEW. For Sally, my queen of Feedback and for everyone that BUGged
me for this sequel. I hope that it lives up to your expectations.
Date: 5-11-03
Copyright © to Venom, 2003
***
If
she heard him enter her room, then she didn’t let on. The tears that she had been holding back in her eyes were now
freely flowing down her alabaster cheeks.
She wasn’t sobbing per se, but the silent tears were enough to bring
moisture to his own eyes. How could he, Colonel Jack O’Neill, have reduced this strong, confident woman to tears?
He
wanted to tell her that crying over him wasn’t worth it. He wanted to tell her that if they were together, he’d
probably make her cry a lot more than he’d make her laugh. He wanted to tell her that he was much more trouble than
she seemed to think he was worth, that he wasn’t what she needed, but all of the words got caught in his throat and
he found himself unable to do anything but gasp for breath.
Unable, or perhaps unwilling, to stop himself, Jack listened
as words he didn’t want to be saying flowed freely from his mouth. “I know that you think you want me, but you’re
going to find someone else. You’ll find someone younger, smarter, and much better for you than I could ever be. Someone
who can read you poetry, talk to you about the work that you love, and understand it. Someone who will speak to you in your
scientific language, be your Romeo, all of the things that I can’t be. All you have to do is wait.”
Sam
turned, slowly, to face him. “Do you not want me?”
“You know that I do.”
“Then
how can you say that?” She whispered brokenly.
“Sam, God, do you really think I’d want to see you
with someone else? Do you really think that I’d want to know that some other guy got to hold you at night? How do you
think I would feel knowing that someone else got to be with you? To know that I can’t be that person? That I can’t
make you happy? It would kill me, I know that, but I need to know that you’re happy and if that’s without me then…...”
He left the sentence open for her interpretation.
Jack watched as she slowly rose from the bed, coming to stand nervously
before him, her eyes holding his intently. “Don’t you get it?” She shook her head, frustrated at his blank
look. “You *do* make me happy. Why don’t you see that? Why *can’t* you see that?”
He gently
cupped her cheeks with his hands, holding her gaze. “Because you would loose so much more than you would gain, being
with me.”
A few more tears slipped down her cheeks, and she leaned in to his touch, relishing the feel of his
soft hands on her face. “No, I wouldn’t. I love you Jack, and I want to be with you more than I want to breathe
right now.”
He closed his eyes, fighting the urge to just pull her to him and never let go. “I’d
only end up hurting you.”
“You’re hurting me now.”
Her quietly whispered words were
enough for his resolve to turn to nothing and he pulled her to him, holding her tightly against his chest as her arms encircled
his waist, holding him just as tight.
Sam breathed in his scent, feeling safe in his arms. “God….”
She whimpered, feeling desire swell low in her abdomen, despite the tears.
Reluctantly, Jack pulled back, shaking his
head sadly. Sam looked at him, and saw that he had made his decision, for both of them. She knew that he was stubborn at the
best of times but now…..his tenacity would only serve to make or break their relationship.
“Please…..”
She whispered. “Please, don’t do this.”
“Sam, I’m sorry, but I can’t let you throw
your career away because of me, I won’t let you.”
Her face crumpled in pain, physical pain from his rejection
of her. Jack may think that it was for her own good, but she knew, that without him, her career meant virtually nothing to
her. How could it, when everything that she had accomplished in the previous six years had been done so to please him?
To
make him proud.
He turned and reached out to open her bedroom door wider. “Please don’t leave me.”
She whispered brokenly, tears once again flowing down her cheeks.
Sam barely heard the softly spoken “I’m
sorry” As she sank to the floor, sobbing, as she watched Jack O’Neill walk out of her house, and perhaps out of
her life.
Forever.
***
End.
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