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Fandom: EssGeeWun Again! So much for being out of the fandom! *snortle*
Title: Don’t drink and dance
Author:
Venom_69
Category: Smut, humor
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: New Order
Season/sequel: None
Archive:
SJ, Heliopolis, my site. Anywhere else, sure, just let me know where so I can come visit.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them,
never will. Promise to put them back in the state I found them. Song isn’t mine either.
Author’s notes: For
Lauren, Cause she asked.
Feedback: Hell yeah! Don’t make me beg, hit reply and stroke my ego please.
Dedication:
As always, for LEW. Lauren. *snog*
Date: 08/01/2005
Copyright © to Venom, 2005
***
Oh the sweetness I
feel
So mysterious, yet so incredibly real
***
Jack was reasonably certain that he was drunk. Reasonably.
All the evidence supported that theory; the room was spinning, he had to think *really* hard to say Cheyenne Mountain, he
was slumped in his favorite chair, there were two naked Carter’s dancing in front of him and…
Holy fuck!
Two
naked Carter's!
Dancing!
Naked!
Now he was reasonably certain that he was drunk *and* dreaming. Because
naked Carter's only danced in front of him like… *that* when he was drunk, dreaming and/or jerking off in the shower
because she was in a prissy mood. Which happened more than she would admit.
He loved her, he really did, and he would
do anything for her, he really would. She loved him too, she really did and she would do anything for him, she really would,
but she didn’t dance. At least, not naked.
She wasn’t ashamed of her body, she just didn’t like to
dance naked while he leered pathetically at her. Her words, not his. He didn’t want to pressure her, he just wanted
to see her shake her naked ass a little. His words, not hers.
Hey, he was a man, after all.
“Carter?”
He refused to admit that his voice sounded like a squeak. Refused. Point blank.
“Yes Jack?”
“Are
you dancing?”
“Yep.”
“Are you naked?”
“Yep again.”
“Not
that I’m, you know, complaining or anything, but why?” He wasn’t complaining, he really wasn’t. But
the last time he’d asked her to dance for him, she’d said that she’d do it when the apocalypse was about
to happen. So, he was a little concerned to see that she was dancing.
Cause, really, he didn’t feel like dying
today. Or tomorrow.
“I’m drunk.” She explained, giggling. “And I ‘membered that you wanted
me to dance, so I be dancing.”
“Drunk Dancing?”
“Sactly!”
And she shook
her ass a little more, and suddenly Jack didn’t care so much about why, as long as she kept doing it. One thing was
bothering him however….
“Why are we drunk?” he hated interrupting her while she was playing with
her nipples like that but, damn, if he was drunk, he needed to know why.
“Cause Daniel and Teal’c bough
booze over. So we drank. And they left. And we kept drinking. So now we’re drunk!” She giggled again, and he liked
the way her breasts did a little happy dance in her hands as she did so.
“And why did they bring booze?”
She
shrugged a little. “Uh…there was a reason…something about us needing to bond now that’s you’re
‘The Man.’ And we don’t see you so much. Course, they dun no I’m sleeping with the Man. So I spose
I see you a bit more than they do!”
He really hoped that was true.
“Carter?”
“Mmm?”
“You’re
a really great dancer.” And she was. Her hand which kept running up and down her body like his own had were doing really
great things for him. Really. His pants were doing a happy dance to match her breasts.
“Jack?”
“Mmm?”
“Unzip
you’re fly.”
“Now?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow as best as he could.
“Now. I’m
going to fuck you’re brains out.” She confirmed, and he did. Because, really, why would anyone say no to a request
put as nicely as *that*?
He’d barley had his penis out for thirty seconds before she straddled him and pushed
herself down onto him. She was tight, and her inner muscles were immediately clenching around his and she slowly- far too
slowly, if you asked Jack- moved herself up and down on his length.
Raising his hips to meet hers, Jack bought a hand
down to play with her clit. He knew she loved that, hell, he loved doing it. And, drunk or not, he was still damn sure that
Sam would come before he-
“Hello O’Neill.”
What the fuck!?!
There was an Asguard is
his living room. Thor was in his fucking living room while Carter was on him, literally. And he was drunk. His brain wasn’t
computing. Actually, his brain was pretty much his dick right now, and that was working fine; it just wasn’t listening
to anything but Carter.
Jack was pretty sure that the regulations that he knows so well –but can’t quite
remember at the moment – don’t covering being caught by a Supreme Alien race while your 2IC rides you. And if
they do, he wants to know why he missed it for the eight years he spent scanning the rule book to try and find a damn loophole.
Nope,
he’s pretty certain this isn’t covered at all.
“Uh…hey Thor.” Silence descended as the
little gray alien simply bowed his recognition. Jack was starting to get a little concerned here. His dick, which had been
very happy two minutes ago, was now considering giving up. No, damnit, he told it firmly, stay up! “Ah, what’re
you doin’ here?”
“I am, as you say, checking in.” Jack wasn’t sure, but he was pretty
damn certain that Thor was being a smartass. And raising an eyebrow at him...well, raising some skin anyway. And if he weren’t
so drunk, he would swear blind that there was a smile on his… face.
“Uh, yeah, that’s great an’
all, but Thor, buddy, now isn’t really a good time.” He was sobering up fast. Damn.
“So I see.”
Smug little bastard. Jack would kick his ass if Sam didn’t feel so good and he wanted to screw the planet over. “I
shall return tomorrow.” He said, and in a flash, he was gone.
“Well…that was weird.”
“Yep.”
“And
a little sobering.” Sam added.
“Yep.”
“I’m still horny though.” She announced.
Jack wasn’t feeling it anymore… but then she started to move again, and he decided that it would be a small sacrifice
for him to let her finish.
“Yep.”
***
la Finito.
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