Title: A Day In The L:ife Of Jack O’Neill’s Penis
Author: Ky
Spoilers: General Pete shit
Disclaimer:
Not mine.
A/N: I did it again! Blame
![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
jemster for this one!
Date: 18/03/05
***
0530: Wake up.
0531: Jack? You still sleeping?
0532:
C’mon Jack. You can’t let *this* go to waste! Mmmm….. Nice dream.
0533: Jack? Open your eyes dude,
I know you can do it… we’ve got some great new ideas about Sam!
0534: Mmm…. Sam.
0550: Where
was I? Oh, right: WAKE UP, JACK!
0555: Fine then. Don’t. See if I care.
0600: Wake up.
0601: Heh.
Told ya it was a nice dream!
0602: Ahem. Uh, Jack? Little pressure happening here buddy. Can we, maybe, fix it? *Very*
nice dream.
0603: Hmm… need to pee.
0604: Ahhhhhhhh….
***
0800: Work.
0801:
Sam! Hi! How are you? Want to go to the supply closet? Briefing room table? Star chart? Stargate? Lab? Offices? The General’s
Desk? My place? Your place? Your car? My truck? The middle of the hallway? Right here?
0802: It’s possible I’ve
had too much time to consider this.
0803: I don’t care.
0804: We need to get laid.
0805: What is
she saying? NO! Don’t listen to her Jack! Recite hockey scores man! Think about her naked! Anything! Quickly! Before
I shrivel up and die!
0807: She just had to mention the ‘P’ word, didn’t she?
0808: Bitch…
0810:
….That woman is sex on legs.
***
0859: Ooh! Briefing!
0900: Sam!
0901: *chants* Sit next
to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit
next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us!
Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us! Sit next to us!
0902: Daniel!?!?! What the…?
0903:
Bitch.
***
1200: Food!
1201: Sam! She’d better sit next to us.
1202: Okay, okay, she can
get food first. Then she has to sit next to us!
1203: If she doesn’t, she will pay.
1204: I mean it man,
if she doesn’t, we’re totally playing footsie with her under the table… Actually, that sounds like fun…
1205:
SCORE!
1206: *Happy dance*
1210: She makes eating sexy.
1215: No! Daniel! Go away!
1220: Teal'c!
You’re supposed to be the smart one! GO AWAY DAMN YOU!
1229: Yes! Goodbye boys, hello Sam!
1231: So, Sam.
I have this idea. You. Me. Naked. Marathon!sex.. How’s about it?
1232: Why are we walking away? Jack?
1234:
Are we swinging our hips at her?
1235: Is she watching?
***
1630: More work. Yawn.
1631: Jack?
I’m bored. So we need to talk. Really man. You and I are a great team, you’re good to me, I’m there when
you need me. But leaving me in that predicament this morning? Not cool man, not cool at all.
1632: Don’t ignore
me man.
1635: OW! Help! Jack! Ow dude, this is not a nice angle!
1636: Aaaaaaaah. Thanks!
1637: Can Sam
readjust us next time?
17:46: Why are you ignoring me?
1759: Hello?
***
1839: We need to get laid.
1840:
Let’s go see Sam. I’m thinking over her lab bench? No? Ok… how about on the floor, near whatever thingy
she’s crawling under? Yeah? Yeah. I like that idea too.
1842: ….Did we just ask her out? To dinner? NO!
Backpeddle! Red light! Red light! You don’t want dinner unless she’s the main course! I don’t even like
food that much! Honestly!
***
1928: Well, food it is then.
1929: *sigh*
1930: We need to get laid.
***
2112:
We’re driving her home. Man her legs look good in that skirt. Pull over Jack, let’s have some fuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!
2113:
Or keep driving. Whatever works for you. Pfffft.
2114: Walking her to the front door. Nice ass!
2116: Talking,
talking, talking. Boring.
2117: Hands on hips? Her hips?
2118: Oh yeah baby!
2119: Kissing!
2120:
LET’S GET IT ON!
***
22:01: We’re getting laid!
***
*Strings noose up*
