Title: Kaerimichi
Author: Ky
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Rating: ADULT
Summary: Die today or go to jail tomorrow. Your choice.
Character/Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Spoilers: None… the show’s ended!
Warnings: Sex. Language.
Author’s Notes: Song belongs to Anita Spring. Written for VAMB Spring Fling. My request was; “I would love a JC fic. Preferably NC17. A little angst is okay (but not necessary) and nothing depressing, meaning no deaths or weak KJs. No babyfics whatsoever. Nothing too sappy either (gosh, I'm bloody difficult!) And if I can't be any more difficult, I would like a story along the lines of JC being separated for a long time, the reason is completely up to the author, and then they meet again. Oo! Action would be great...action as in the 'bang bang' variety - you know what I mean...”
Disclaimer: Usual guff. Not mine, promise to put them back where I found them.
Date: 14/4/08

***

Don’t blink - we’re fine

I’m here - you’re mine

Don’t breath - just rhyme

Stay a little longer…

***

Though Kathryn wasn't sure exactly how long she'd been running for, she knew that her legs were all but ready to disconnect themselves from her body and wave a white flag in surrender, and her chest was starting to burn. She'd passed that point of a 'subtle ache' almost an hour ago and was rapidly moving towards all encompassing-pain.

There was a little voice inside of her head that whispered words of being far too old for this sort of thing but, then, the logical part of her whispered back that the men chasing her had weapons and it would be suicide for her to stop running any time soon. She was going to keep pushing herself until she dropped from either exhaustion or a phaser blast, whichever came first.

With that thought in mind, Kathryn darted through the trees, trying to concentrate on keeping her breaths even and regular - and, perhaps just as, if not more, importantly, quiet - while she also tried to keep her strides even as she ran.

She was grateful for the fact that, aside from the thick thatches of trees that populated pockets of the continent, there wasn't really a lot of ground foliage to deal with. Though the reason for this - the devastation left by the Cardassians and the subsequent war, with the rather pathetic patches of greenery that had only recently been planted by the reforestation team - was nothing to sneeze over, it certainly made running from an enemy easier when they couldn't hear twigs and sticks breaking under foot.

It also meant there was less chance she was going to end up tripping, too, and, at this stage, she was going to take any advantage that she could.

When she brushed by a rather sharp bush and felt part of her sleeve snag, she mentally cursed whoever had decided that re-introducing a sharp plant back into the environment was a good idea. When she felt the tickle of something sliding down her arm, she knew that the bush had drawn blood and it would soon stain her shirt.

Not for the first time in the last few months, she cursed the fact that she didn't have a comm. badge on her anymore. Oh, what a luxury it would have been to call for a beam out. Or request a dermal regenerator.

But she'd left that convenience, and many others as she'd discovered, behind when she'd all but told Nechayev to bash the invitation to the admiralty - and a desk job - somewhere unpleasant.

Kathryn had never wanted a desk job and she certainly didn't want one with an organization that would sell the border colonies out for a few extra credits.

Though they'd had regular contact with the Alpha Quadrant for almost two years before they'd finally used the Borg Transwarp Hub to get home, no one had thought to send them any kind of information on the war with Cardassia. The one time that she'd asked Owen about it - and she was the first to admit that the War took a backseat to speaking with family for them all - he'd brushed the subject off casually and it had never occurred to her to ask again.

Of course, then they'd burst back into Federation territory and been confronted with everything in one hit.

It seemed that the Cardassians were experiencing their own form of terrorism.

Kathryn wasn't sure how much of it she believed, really.

Even though the leaders of Cardassia had signed the treaty that Starfleet had presented, they didn't really seem to be trying particularly hard to stop the 'rouge soldiers' that continued to plague the innocent border colonies with explosives and threats and violence.

Though Cardassia Prime was still in shambles after the war with Starfleet and the subsequent battles between Cardassia and the Dominion, Cardassia's answer to the current problem was to disown the soldiers that were responsible for the trouble. Kathryn suspected that those soldiers were still on the payroll of what was left of the Cardassian Army, if only 'under the table' as it were.

The only good thing about this particular bout of political unrest was the freedom fighters that stood up for their home worlds. The people that had seen what Cardassian soldiers were capable of once and weren't willing to watch that kind of devastation again.

Despite the supposed destruction of the Maquis just a few years after they were sent via the Caretaker to the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn had soon learnt that there were still cells operating from some of the more out-of-the-way planets along the border. Their numbers were relatively small and they were keeping a low profile, she'd been told, but they did their best to make trouble for any Cardassian patrollers that happened to pass by. They avoided Starfleet and they never injured civilians.

She couldn't bring herself to feel anything but pride in what those men and women were doing and, somehow, that pride had translated from a warm feeling in her chest to her running through the new forest on one of those planets, trying to decide if she would have more luck fighting her pursuers or trying to find the cell that she knew would be somewhere north of her position.

Though it was fairly wide-spread knowledge that she - the supposed ‘Returning Hero Captain’ - had retired, she’d quickly discovered that a lot of people, certainly those with a slightly ‘shady’ character or something to hide, were often sceptical. Not that she could blame them, really. After Voyager had burst through the hub, she had done nothing but publicly sing Starfleet’s praises for almost a month as the crew went through debriefing after debriefing.

Of course, what the sceptics didn’t know was that Nechayev would have seen to it that key members of Voyagers family were effectively hung out to dry if their Captain were to utter a bad word about the organization that was, supposedly, working toward the betterment of mankind.

Though she had no proof, she knew that the “friendly” messages, warning her to keep quiet about any grievances she may or may not have had, had come from pretty high up in the Starfleet food chain and she was almost certain that they had originated from Alynna Nechayev’s desk.

Of course, having untraceable messages was a tough thing to prove, especially when she would have been one voice standing out against many.

When the “warnings” had started to filter through to her, Kathryn had decided that she would make it a point to stay out of the public eye as much as possible. She would have been more than content to help with the re-fit of Voyager, or even Captain some other ship, and quietly continue on with her life. But, of course, Starfleet had demanded months of counselling before she would be fit to be in space again. Voyager’s refit wasn’t scheduled to start until the entire ship had been dissected and examined until the modifications that they had made were understood and, if possible, implemented into other designs.

She hadn’t wanted to stand around and watch as her ship, her old friend, was pulled to pieces. And, given that therapy wasn’t high on her list of things to do, she’d found herself without a lot of offers. Thoughts of teaching at the academy had briefly entered her mind, but she hadn't thought herself a patient enough person to handle it.

Kathryn had stayed with her mother for a week - and a week of being constantly fussed after had been more than enough - and then she’d gone to stay with her sister and family but that had been just as trying for her patience and she hadn’t even lasted the full five days she’d promised to be there.

After she’d tried to find a house that she could make her own without any luck, she’d been left feeling lost and a little more alone than she would have liked. But then she’d started to hear whispers about the unrest on the borders and her interest, not to mention her humanitarian desires, had been piqued. She’d tried to stay out of it, tried to remain inconspicuous, but then Owen had accidentally let slip that almost a quarter of her old crew were out there in the badlands fighting, and she’d been sucked in before she’d had a chance to consider if it was wise or not.

She’d inhaled ever single report she could get her hands on and she’d spoken to anyone that would take her call and then, finally, when she didn’t find Starfleet’s “help” - including a few more “friendly warnings” to keep her nose out of that issue - to be satisfactory, she put her resignation down on Owen’s desk, packed a duffle bag and jumped the first transport to the border.

It wasn’t a particularly smart thing to do, she knew. She’d effectively ended her career in one move - not that some of her more questionable decisions in the Delta Quadrant had really helped with that anyway - and she’d all but alienated her family and non-Voyager friends, but she refused to sit back and watch from the wrong side of the fence this time around. She'd done that once before, put her faith in Starfleet's ability to manage the troubles in the badlands. The whole situation had left a bad taste in her mouth but she'd followed their orders - and ended up in another Quadrant for her troubles - and she wasn't prepared to risk making the same mistakes.

Kathryn didn’t care if Starfleet wanted to hide behind the non-interference policy in the treaty or not; if she could do something to help, she was going to, even though that meant giving up her career and offering only the help that her own two hands could manage.

Of course ‘helping’ always seemed to lead to her running for her life which, in the grand scheme of things, was really not what she had signed on for.

By the time she was nearing the edge of the forest, she had no choice but to stop for a moment and catch her breath, panting as she leant against the large stump of a tree. Everything she had brought with her was secured in a pack that left her back only when it was time to sleep. She could feel the beads of sweat sticking to her skin under its weight and she reached behind her to pull the canteen from the side pocket.

Gulping down a few precious sips gratefully, she listened intently, trying to hear the heavy footsteps of the patrol she had accidentally bumped into.

Somehow, despite all of her training and how careful she was in general, Kathryn had managed to - quite literally - trip over the boots of four Cardassian soldiers. Ostracized terrorists or not, they’d recognized her immediately. She’d seen them exchange looks as she picked herself up from the ground and, as soon as she made eye contact with the apparent leader, she’d known she was in trouble.

It was only the distraction of a cargo ship overhead that had given her a few seconds head start. Once the errant ship - a rarity for this mostly barren planet but her saving grace, today - had captured their attention, she’d headed for the trees and immediately started darting and weaving, hoping that if she were a moving target she were less likely to be shot. It had worked in her favour, thankfully, but now she was at the other end of the tree line - either that or she’d run herself in a large circle, which was distinctly possible - and she was left wondering what to do next.

She couldn’t hear the soldiers, but she knew that didn’t mean much. They’d had very similar training to her - perhaps with brutality being more condoned - and she didn’t doubt their ability to track someone.

Hell, some of them were known for doing it for sport.

When the business end of a phaser pressed into her temple, Kathryn knew that the game was up.

She felt her body tense even as she forced her voice to remain steady. It wasn’t the first time she’d been faced with someone wanting to kill her and she was damn certain that it wouldn’t be the last, assuming she survived today. Either way, showing any kind of fear was certainly not on her agenda right now.

“Are you going to introduce yourself?”

When he replied, her would-be murderer’s voice was low. “I think the phaser says it all, doesn’t it?”

Her body tensed even further. She knew that voice, but she refused to let her surprise show. Surprise meant advantage and she couldn’t afford to give that up, not now, not after everything that had - and hadn’t - happened. “It’s been a while.”

“It has.” He agreed. “But as much as I love small talk, now is hardly the time, don’t you think?”

She shrugged one shoulder, her body still tense.

“I gather you were looking for the camp you’ve no doubt heard rumours of.”

Kathryn knew it wasn’t a question. “And if I were?”

“Well, you’re going in the wrong direction, to start with…”

Her cheeks flamed and she told herself it was the heat from the sun peeking through the canopy of branches above. “How do you know I wasn’t trying to throw you off?”

“Because you had no idea I was here.”

Well, he was right about that and she knew there was little point in arguing.

She heard the voice of one of the soldiers as soon as he did and the hand that he clamped over her mouth wasn’t necessary, but she didn’t struggle.

It was interesting that the man still holding a phaser to her temple was also the one who was to save her from the Cardassians. Save her from death at their hands to, potentially, walk her to death at the hands of another. She wasn't sure if he was the lesser or two evils or not, given their history.

When the voice retreated slightly, his grip over her mouth loosened slightly and he hissed, “We need to go. Now.”

“You wont get any arguments from me.” She hissed back.

The phaser nudged her temple. “Slide your pack off, I’ll carry it.”

“Chivalrous.” She remarked as she handed it over.

“Hardly.” He snorted, pulling it onto his shoulders without losing his aim at her head. “South east. Until I tell you to stop. Try anything stupid and I will shoot you in the back.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes even as she turned in the direction he indicated and began walking carefully, keeping her footsteps measured and controlled lest she alert the Cardassians to their presence. Two people were much easier to find than one lone runner and the fact that her captor had a weapon didn't really put her in a better position than she'd been in half an hour ago. “So you’ve missed me too, then?”

“Small talk will end in both of our deaths,” He reminded her with a sharp nudge to her back from the phaser for emphasis. “I suggest you keep your mouth shut.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then…”

***

They’d only been walking for a few moments when he nudged her again, harder, more urgently, and hissed “Run!” a split second before they both took off.

She hadn’t heard the approach of anyone, but she was the first to admit that his tracking skills were better than hers and, though he’d held the phaser threateningly near her back the entire time they’d walked, she would have no choice but to trust him not to let her get captured.

It was in his best interest not to be found, too.

Kathryn ran as fast as she possibly could, adrenaline fuelling her once more, until he grabbed her arm and steered her in the direction he wanted her to go. They came to the edge of the trees again and Kathryn slowed to a jog until he urged her forward with another push of the phaser into the base of her spine. She was going to have a bruise there, but she didn’t comment.

As they cleared the last of the trees, she could see the abandoned and half-destroyed city not far ahead. She knew exactly where he was going to direct her and knew that they had to run across open plains for almost ten minutes. It was dangerous, but their quick footwork in the forest had - hopefully - saved them from being followed close enough to get a shot in.

Taking a deep breath, Kathryn broke into the fastest run that her tired legs would allow, convincing her body that 'Just one more step...' would be enough, over and over, until 'just one more step' equated to safety within her grasp. 

When they entered the rubble and moved behind one of the few buildings still somewhat standing, she stopped to fill her lungs with precious oxygen.

“Keep going.”

“To where?” She panted.

He nodded west. “See that large wall still mostly intact? There.”

Kathryn couldn’t see anything of worth in the crumbling piece of the building - or the rest of the city, for that matter - but she wasn’t going to argue. Thankful for what little coverage she could get from the remains of the structures around them, she carefully led the way to the wall he’d indicated.

When they were on the other side of the wall that shielded them from view, she heard him follow her and saw him move to stand in the centre of what was, once, a large room. He nodded to her, gesturing for her to stand beside him. Kathryn saw the small flash of silver under his vest.

“You’re underground!” She realized quickly.

“Did you think we’d be setting up standard issue grey Starfleet shelters in the middle of exposed land?”

She was tempted to make reference to some kind of tasteful pinstripe in blues and greens being more appropriate, but bit her tongue. That comment was a lifetime ago and it held no place here.
 

When she didn’t reply, he tapped the device twice and Kathryn felt the familiar tingle of the transporter take her. She rematerialized half a heartbeat later and was unsurprised to find herself staring at more phaser’s and more familiar faces.

Apparently, it was her lucky day. “Nice to see you all again.”

Ayala was the first to respond. “Captain?”

She cocked her head to the side in a half-nod. “Michael.”

“What are you doing out here?”

“Looking for us, no doubt.” Her would-be executor snorted.

“Actually, no.” She turned to look at the man that still held a phaser in the small of her back. “And if you’d thought to engage in that small talk you mentioned, you might have known that.”

He scowled. “Didn’t I mention that small talk would get us killed?”

“Dalby.” Ayala’s voice held a warning note. “Why don’t we hear what the lady has to say before you shoot her?”

Everyone’s eyes turned to her expectantly.

“Would you believe that it was pure coincidence?”

The voice that replied did not belong to Dalby, Ayala or any of the other former Maquis she was facing. “Very little that you do is coincidence, Kathryn.”

Her body froze and her mind went blank with shock for a brief moment. “Chakotay.” She should have realized that if Ayala and Dalby were here, he would be too. But she hadn’t let herself think about him in… God, how long had it been? A year? More?

She couldn’t remember, exactly, but then she was struggling to remember her name at this point. If this was what the sound of his voice did to her, she wasn’t sure she’d survive actually seeing him. Thankfully, he seemed to feel the same way given that he didn’t move into her line of sight.

“It’s over.” Chakotay smiled. “You did it. You got us home, safe and sound.”

“We did it.” Kathryn corrected automatically. She pulled the cork from the bottle of champagne that someone had handed her at some point and smiled at him. “Don’t suppose you know where the glasses are?”

“No idea.”

“Who needs them!” She grinned, taking a sip from the neck of the bottle and laughing as the bubbles flowed too rapidly for her to swallow, spilling down onto her top.

Chakotay laughed too, his eyes bright with delight. He smiled widely, dimples out in full force, his teeth showing, before his expression turned serious and his eyes soft. “You’re beautiful.”

“It’s been a long time, Kathryn.”

She found herself agreeing without really being able to hear her own voice over the sound of the blood hammering through her body. “Yes, it has.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I was just passing through.”

“You’ll forgive me for being sceptical.” He chuckled. “Dalby, I think you can put the phaser down.”

“Are you sure, boss?”

“Do I have a reason not to be?” His statement was fairly general, but she knew that it was directed at her.

“I’m not going to run anywhere.” She told them. “After all, I don’t know anything about this… complex.”

“That’s never stopped you before.” Dalby reminded her with another nudge to her back.

The temptation to insert the crack of command into her voice and order him to lower his weapon before she had Tuvok take him to the brig slammed through her. Kathryn hadn’t found many reasons to project the image of authority since they’d gotten home and the feeling was almost as surprising as her former 2IC standing a few feet behind her.

“Dalby.” Chakotay’s voice was a warning and she felt the pressure of the phaser immediately move away from her body.

“What now?” She asked.

She heard Dalby snort behind her. “Can’t handle being in the dark, can you, Captain?”

Though Kathryn wasn’t exactly certain as to why he was holding such a grudge - she could guess, though - she wasn’t going to rise to the bait. She waited, silent, for someone else to speak.

“Now we talk.” Chakotay finally answered. “Will someone escort her to the main hall? I’ll be there shortly.”

Ayala volunteered - perhaps to save her from Dalby - before he took her arm in a loose but somewhat threatening grip. Kathryn kept her mouth shut and her eyes open as he led her through a series of tunnels until they emerged into a large room that housed little more than a few tables and chairs.

Nodding to the closest seat, Ayala gestured for her to sit while he remained on his feet. “Chakotay will be here soon.”

She nodded, but figured that asking him about Chakotay and what he was doing here wouldn’t be smart. She wasn't sure that silence would serve her well right now either and, aside from relaying how wonderful it felt to finally be seated, she settled for something more neutral than the pathetic state of her aging body. “How are your boys?”

“They don’t remember me.” He replied quietly. “I haven’t seen them since we got home. Their stepfather is more suited to parenting them.”

Once again, Kathryn felt the guilt that she’d lived with for seven years slam into her full-force. “Mike… I’m sorry.”

“So was I.” He shrugged. “It’s not your fault.”

She smirked. “Well, if you want to get technical…”

Ayala chuckled mirthlessly. “Point taken.”

“Nice to see every one getting along.”

At the sound of Chakotay’s voice, her eyes closed involuntarily. She wasn’t ready to see him; it certainly hadn’t been on her agenda when she’d handed her resignation letter to Starfleet and set off without any real direction.

“You got it?”

“Yeah. Go make sure Dalby hasn’t punched a wall again.”

Kathryn heard the exchange and she could imagine their mannerisms, even with her eyes closed. It was hard to forget some things, apparently.

She listened as Ayala left the room and heard some kind of door that she hadn’t noticed close behind him. She listened as Chakotay moved the chair across from her and sat. She could almost feel him lacing his fingers through each other and placing them in a deceptively calm manner on the tabletop. And then she listened to the silence that followed.

“You’ll have to look at me eventually.”

She hated that he knew what she was doing and her pride alone made her open her eyes and look up at him.

Despite everything that the last year - and, possibly, more - had probably put him through, he looked good. Much more toned then when she’d last seen him. His hair was a little longer than she remembered and he’d stopped colouring it; little patches of grey were showing through.

Whatever life had held with him since they’d parted ways had been good for his body, but she could see a few more lines of stress marring his angular face. Part of her was glad that at least she hadn’t caused these ones; part of her was sad to think that she couldn’t attribute a line here to her coffee intake or a line there to her sleeping habits.

He was blatantly examining her, too; no doubt wondering where the scar on her chin had come from, what had caused those extra lines. Maybe he was judging her own slight signs of grey. When she felt the urge to squirm under his intense gaze, she spoke. “Nice to see you again.”

“Are we going with pleasantries then?” He shrugged and made a face. “How’ve you been?”

“Not bad. You?”

“Had better days.”

“I’ve crashed a shuttle, been chased by four Cardassian soldiers and then held hostage by a former crewmember, only to then be interrogated by my former XO. You want to talk about bad days?”

“I thought we were going with pleasantries? This is hardly an interrogation, Kathryn.”

“It will turn into one, though, wont it?”

“Would you expect anything else?”

She wasn’t going to lie, there was no point. “No.”

“Then let’s get to the point, shall we?” He raised an eyebrow and she nodded her consent. “What are you doing here?”

“I meant what I said; it was pure coincidence.”

“Pure coincidence that a Starfleet Admiral happened to find herself on a barren planet whose only occupants are a few Cardy’s and half of her Ex-Maquis crew?”

“Yes.” She replied easily, no bothering to correct him on her rank.

“Then what was your mission here?”

“I have no mission.”

It was true; she’d left Starfleet and headed for the border with the intention of helping anyone she could.

She’d spent a few weeks with a settlement on one of the planets closest to the federation, helping them with the various engineering issues they’d been having. It had been an easy stop to make; one of the last things she’d heard about as a Starfleet officer was the trouble those people were having in their efforts to rebuild even as the ‘terrorists’ came time and time again to knock them down. Those people had spirit, though, and every attack had just made them work harder at keeping their culture strong and thriving. Kathryn had been proud to call those people her friends and they had given her the inspiration to continue to the next planet.

From there, she’d followed the trail of stories.

If a freighter was leaving a planet, headed for someone else in need, she’d barter for a seat. She’d made her way around this part of the system that way. Though she could have probably thrown her name around to get what she wanted, she’d tried to stay fairly inconspicuous and under the radar of Starfleet.

She’d only ended up on Chakotay’s planet because the small runabout she’d ‘borrowed’ had navigational problems. Kathryn had known she wouldn’t be able to navigate through any kind of storms - which the region was known for - until she’d set down and got her hands dirty with jury rigging a repair. She’d been wishing for B’Elanna’s ingenuity when she’d heard a noise outside of her craft and gone to inspect, before she’d fallen over the Cardassians.

“I find it rather amusing that you think you can lie to me, Kathryn. We spent seven years as part of a close-knit group, I know you.”

“Not as well as you think, then,” She bit back. “I don’t have a mission. If you want to believe otherwise, who am I to interfere with your delusions?”

“Piss off the interrogator in the hopes that he will reveal more than he otherwise would.” Chakotay stared off into the distance as he paraphrased, before turning back to her, his eyes hard. “I’ve read the same handbook you have, Sweetheart.”

Kathryn felt her breath involuntarily hitch in her throat. The last time she’d heard him say that, he’d been whispering it against her sweaty skin as she lay sated in his bed. Though the irony of the endearment wasn’t lost on her, she felt her heart constrict. “I’m not following any handbook.” She responded quietly.

“Oh, please! You’re Starfleet through and through. It’s in your blood. You are the handbook.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Stop with the charades, Admiral, you betrayed us, the least you can do is give us an honest explanation.”

“I betrayed who? The Maquis? Or you?” She shot back.

“Your crew.”

The slight flush on his skin gave him away and Kathryn knew damn well that only half of this conversation had anything to do with politics and military affiliations. “I did what I had to do to keep you all safe.”

“You sold us out to get your precious promotion! You traded us in for a corner office with a view. Do you think about the people you betrayed when you sit there pushing PADD’s?”

Her pride wanted her to scream at him, but her common sense wouldn’t let her. If they engaged each other in a screaming match, they’d say things that they would both regret and it would be all over before it had begun. “No, Chakotay.”

“So the fact that almost half of your crew is now persona non grata with the Federation doesn’t bother you? Do I need to remind you of everything we did for you and your uniform? We followed you blindly for years and you turned on us. I trusted you!”

“They, you mean? They trusted me.”

“No, Kathryn, they wanted me to strangle you and throw the Starfleet crew out the airlock. I was the one that trusted you to do the right thing.”

She remembered him standing up for her when B’Elanna had wanted to stop her from destroying the Caretaker’s array, all those years ago. It had been the first of many times that he’d backed her completely.

It all seemed like a lifetime ago, now. “What’s your point?”

“You sold us out. I guess I expected you to feel something about that. Or have you become the bitter, lonely, old Admiral Janeway already?”

Kathryn couldn’t help the sting of tears that pricked at her eyes, but she could fight them and refuse to let them escape. “I suppose I can’t change your mind about that, no matter what I say.”

“No, you can’t lie your way out of it.”

She sighed, but shrugged in lieu of a reply.

Chakotay sighed, too, apparently his gust of anger dissipating in a rush. “Kathryn, what are you doing here?”

“My runabout had navigational problems and I landed here to make repairs.”

“Wishing for B’Elanna?”

She hated that he knew her that well.

Still, Kathryn ignored the comment. “There were four Cardassian soldiers patrolling. They found me and I started running. Dalby found me and you know the rest.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well there’s not much I can do about that, is there?” She snapped.

“Kathryn,” He sighed. “What do you want?”

She also hated that the first thought that popped into her mind was one that involved them both naked and sweaty. She told herself, firmly, that now was not the time to be thinking with her clit. “I’d like to get back to whatever the Cardassians have left of my shuttle and leave.”

“You know that wont work.”

“And why not?”

“You know our position.” He shrugged, as though the answer was simple. “We’re not causing trouble for Starfleet and we want to stay out of their way. Drawing attention to ourselves is not something we’re looking to do.”

It was time to use his own assumptions against him. “And what do you think they’ll do when they discover you’re holding me hostage?”

“No one is holding you, Kathryn.”

And that produced more mental images that she really didn’t need right now. “So you’ll let me walk out of here, then?”

“Well, without the transporter, that might be difficult…”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do. And the answer is no.” He sat forward, his hands still laced on the tabletop. Their eyes were locked and it occurred to her that neither of them was blinking. “Kathryn, you being here makes things difficult.”

“Planning something?”

“Fishing for information?”

“Trying to be evasive?”

“Fulfilling your mission?”

Kathryn opened her mouth to reply but Ayala’s head poking through the crack in the doorway stopped her.

“Sorry to interrupt…”

Chakotay continued staring at her. “What is it?”

“We’re receiving a communication.”

“Baker can handle it.”

“It’s from Starfleet Headquarters.”

At that, Chakotay turned his head. “What do they want?”

“They’re looking for the Captain.”

“Admiral.” Chakotay corrected, turning back to look at her. “And I wonder just how they know she’s here. Tracking device under the skin, Kathryn? Homing beacon? Did you send out a distress signal before you landed? Or did you arrange for an armada of ships to be orbiting the planet?”

Kathryn blinked, as surprised as he was. “I have no idea how they found me. And your colony is small; I hardly think Starfleet would send an armada.”

“No, just a feisty redhead that doesn’t know when to quit.” Chakotay pushed back from the table, standing, before he turned and addressed Ayala as he exited the room. “Watch her. I’ll be back.”

Nodding, Ayala stepped into the room and took Chakotay’s place across from her, watching her, clearly uncomfortable.

“So…” He said after a moment of awkward silence. “How’s things?”

Kathryn suppressed a smile.

She’d always had a fondness for Ayala - for them all, really - but they’d never socialized much on Voyager and that was more than evident now.  “I’ve been better.”

“I can imagine.” He shrugged. “Chakotay wont be long…”

“I imagine he’s currently in the process of telling them that I’m not here.”

“I suppose that disheartens you.”

“On the contrary, actually.” Kathryn didn’t particularly want to be found any more than the Maquis wanted Starfleet on their doorstep.

“Don’t need to check in?”

There was no bitterness in his voice but, Kathryn supposed, the last time she’d seen Chakotay was probably what contributed to his anger more than his assumption that she was spying on them, and Ayala has no such claim against her.

“I’m not spying on you for Starfleet.”

He was quiet for a moment. “I believe you, but don’t tell the Boss I said that.”

She smiled. “I won’t.”

“Reminiscing?” Chakotay asked from the doorway. “They asked me to pass on a message.”

“Oh?”

“If I see you, I’m to tell you to contact Headquarters urgently. A new mission, Kathryn?”

She shrugged. “Not that I’m aware of.”

“Because this one isn’t over?”

“Because I haven’t worked for Starfleet for well over a year.” She shot back quickly, aware of Ayala’s eyes on her as he stood and quietly exited. Kathryn wished she could follow him.

“Who are you working for, then? I can’t really envision you selling your expertise to the highest bidder. And you’re hardly the bounty hunter type.”

Kathryn sighed and knew that she had to tell him the truth. “I’ve been travelling around the border colonies, helping them rebuild, offering advice where I can.”

“Fighting the Cardassian rogues?”

“Avoiding them.” She corrected. “I want to see them about as much as I want to see Starfleet.”

“Why this disdain with Starfleet?” He asked, moving back to stand across from her. “Last I heard you were their star.”

“Yeah, well, the last you heard was a sham.”

“I remember your words, Kathryn. I remember you telling everyone that would listen that Starfleet was the most important thing in the world to you and your life was dedicated to following the federation in whatever plight they deemed appropriate.”

She also remembered the look on his face when she’d sung the praises of Starfleet in the biggest press conference in a century.

He’d been standing in the front row, watching her from the side and she’d almost been able to see the heartbreak on his face when she’d said that one of the proudest things she’d ever done in her life was ‘reform’ the Maquis back to the Starfleet way of life. She’d made him sound like her lapdog and he’d been gone before she could find him and explain about Nechayev and her thinly veiled threats.

The last time they’d been alone together, he’d been kissing her neck and trying to convince her that they really could be just a few minutes late, especially given the fact they’d had less than three hours together as a couple, between her debriefing and conference, before she had to go.

And now this.

“You heard what needed to be said in order to secure the freedom of the Maquis.”

He rolled his eyes. “Poor Kathryn, always the martyr.”

“Think what you like,” She sighed, “But I did what I had to do so you and your people wouldn’t go to jail. If you can’t see that, then that is your problem. So either let me leave here now or figure out what you’re going to do with me, because we are clearly done talking.”

Chakotay didn't respond to her outburst, merely sat and watched her with that calm, blank, annoying as all hell stare she remembered.

Their eyes met and held, fire and anger burning on both sides, but neither willing to back down from whatever silent challenge they felt was happening. She was aware that neither of them was blinking again.

"What happened to your chin?" He finally asked, nodding slightly toward the small scar that ran along the bone.

"I fell in a make-shift engine room on a nearby planet and cut it."

"Why haven't you had it fixed?"

"I haven't had time to make an appointment with Starfleet medical yet," She snapped sarcastically, "What's it to you?"

Chakotay shrugged. "Curious."

"I have a scar on my ass, too; you want the story behind that?"

He actually laughed. "I might take you up on that one day."

The answer sent a slight jolt through her and Kathryn mentally cursed her body for still reacting to him. She’d thought that their few hours together, making love and whispering promises, would have satisfied the hunger she’d cradled low in her belly for all of those years.

Apparently, despite whatever she’d told herself over the last year, it had only made her want him more. Damnit. “What now, then?”

“Truthfully? I have no clue.”

“Comforting.”

“If we let you go, Starfleet will be on the doorstep in a heartbeat.”

“I already told you that I don’t work for them. Would you like to take a look at my CV for proof? You wont find any Admirals volunteering to be my character reference.”

Chakotay rolled his eyes. “They’re looking for you.”

“I have no idea why.” She replied honestly.

“Look at it from my position, Kathryn. Would you believe me if the shoe was on the other foot?”

“Probably not,” She admitted after a moment. “But I like to think I would still trust you.”

“You’ll forgive my scepticism after everything that’s happened.”

“I haven’t lied to you, Chakotay.” She paused for a moment. “About anything.”

“I love you,” She whispered, pulling him closer, keeping their lower bodies connected as he softened within her. “You have no idea how it feels to finally be able to say that.”

“I really do.” He raised an eyebrow before bending to kiss her again. “And I love you, too.”

The memory assaulted her senses and Kathryn was more than certain that Chakotay had caught the meaning behind her emphatic ‘anything.’

He opened his mouth to reply - and Kathryn felt herself tense as she tried to anticipate the words that he would use - but that was interrupted by the slight shuddering of the walls around them.

It wasn't much of anything at first, just a small rumbling under their feet that could easily be dismissed as simple planetary movement. But then it happened again, slightly stronger, slightly louder, and Kathryn felt her stomach knot, a general sign - if past experience was anything to go by - that things were about to 'hit the fan.'

They exchanged worried looks before Kathryn asked, "Is that normal?"

"No," He replied. "And this planet isn't known for any seismic activity."

"So, what was that?" Kathryn asked as she felt another, stronger, jolt pass through the room. She wondered how stable the Maquis structure was.

"That," Chakotay replied, standing and gesturing for her to follow him, "Is a sign that your Cardy friends got some reinforcements, I think."

"For one small Maquis camp that they probably don't even know is here?"

"They'd be shooting blindly at where you and Dalby disappeared. They've done it before in the hopes of getting lucky. They may think we're just survivors trying to rebuild. But they may have traced Starfleet's transmission here and know that we are Maquis."

"Shit."

He raised his eyebrow, clearly surprised by the outburst.

The ground beneath them shuddered again, stilling any comment he might have made on her use of profanity.

"You said you didn't know the layout of this base?" She nodded. "You're about to learn. Let's go."

Kathryn followed behind him blindly, stumbling a few times as the force of the shaking got worse. She didn't know what the Cardassians - if it really was them, not that she had any other suggestions - were using to make the ground shake and shudder, but she really hoped they ran out of ammunition soon.

Chakotay led her through twists and turns, a route that she would never have been able to figure out and replicate even if her life depended on it, before they immerged into a large room that seemed to be some kind of main control centre.

She was momentarily startled to see so many familiar faces - even though she'd already known they were here, actually seeing them made her wish for the 'good old days' - as everyone moved about frantically, scanning and calling out to each another.

"Boss!" Dalby called. "The Cardy's are firing on us!"

"What kind of ship?"

"Don't know; we can't seem to get any readings. We sent out a distress signal but it’s impossible to tell if anyone received it."

“The probe we left in orbit?”

“Too much interference from whatever they’re firing.”

Chakotay ground his teeth together even though his voice, when he spoke, was steady. "Keep working on the sensors."

"Got it."

"Chakotay!"

When Kathryn saw B'Elanna enter the room via the other entrance across from them, she had to swallow her gasp.

Though she'd known that the Paris/Torres clan were no longer on Earth - no longer allowed to be on Earth, she mentally corrected herself - it hadn't occurred to her that they would be here, too. Though it shouldn't really have been a surprise.

The young woman walked with her head down, reading from a PADD in her hand. "I don't know what they're firing at us, but I don't like the way the structural support system is holding and I really think that we should... Captain!"

"Hello, B'Elanna."

"What are you...?" She shook her head before schooling her expression and turning back to Chakotay, who looked mildly amused. "Never mind. Long story short; we need to evacuate. Now."

"Have you got a cloaked ship floating around that I don't know about?"

"Well, No."

"Some way to get us to safety once we reach the surface?"

"No."

"A way to stun all the Cardys until we escape?"

B'Elanna just looked annoyed, now. "No."

"Then how, exactly, are we going to evacuate without getting shot on sight?"

"That's not my department." She told him firmly. "We need to evacuate before this entire complex falls down around our ears. The logistics are up to you." Turning, she headed back out the door she'd walked through only a moment before.

"She never talked back to you like that." Chakotay snorted.

"Maybe I'm scarier." Kathryn offered with a slight shrug. "You know, assuming the Cardassians didn't obliterate it, my runabout is still on the surface."

"How many people could it hold?"

"Maybe twenty. A few more if you squeeze them in."

"We have fifty-eight people here, including a child."

"Miral?"

"Yes."

"I could take the runabout and evacuate as many people as possible to the next planet over. It's an hour there and back, though."

"That would leave the rest stranded and effectively defenceless."

"Do you have a better idea?"

Chakotay used one hand on a nearby console to steady himself as the ground shook again, his other hand wrapping itself around her arm to keep her upright.

The blasts were coming faster and stronger now and Kathryn didn't think she'd be able to stay upright for much longer the way they were going.

"What's the weapons system on the runabout like?"

"Phasers that only work half the time, if I'm lucky. Not even enough to make a dent in their side."

"Great." Chakotay bit his lip. "Got any better ideas?"

Kathryn wondered how much he hated having to ask her opinion. "You need help, there's no way to avoid that fact."

"I'm aware of that..."

"Starfleet was looking for me..."

"So you want to contact them." He finished for her, his tone hard.

"We need to get out of this complex. Either we die today or go to jail tomorrow, take your pick." She snapped.

"We?" He repeated. "Counting yourself as a Maquis now?"

Her skin flushed. "You know what I mean."

Chakotay went quiet for a moment. "Contact them."

With a steadying hand, he helped her get across the shuddering room and Kathryn quickly found the last transmission received and reversed the connection, waiting for a link to be established as the complex shook almost constantly around her.

"Admiral Nechayev's Office."

Kathryn resisted the urge to roll her eyes, unsurprised that it was Nechayev that had been looking for her. "Put me through to the Admiral, please."

"Who should I say is calling?"

Exchanging a look that clearly read 'Is this kid for real?' with Chakotay, Kathryn held on to the edges of the console to remain on the chair. "Kathryn Janeway."

"I'll see if the Admiral is available."

"She's available." It felt good to order someone around again, even if it was hard to come across as an authority figure while you had to grip the console to keep upright. "Put me through now."

The young Ensign with the unfortunate job of receptionist for Nechayev visibly gulped. "Yes ma'am."

Kathryn only had to wait a few seconds before the permanently-scowling face of the blonde Admiral appeared on screen. "I was informed that you weren't at the Maquis outpost."

She was tempted to offer a sarcastic greeting, but there was little point in provoking the woman any further than her mere existence apparently did.

Quietly, Kathryn admitted to a small feeling of pride that she got at knowing that fact.

"There was a miscommunication.” She responded diplomatically, “I don't have a lot of time, Admiral. This complex is under attack and we require immediate assistance. Is there a ship in the vicinity that could come to our aid?"

"I'm afraid not, Ms. Janeway."

The snide 'Ms.' wasn't lost on Kathryn, but she didn't have the luxury of antagonizing the other woman with semantics. "Admiral, please..."

"We have no ships close to your position. We also have a treaty with Cardassia Prime. I'm surprised that you don't remember that."

"Tell that to the people firing on us!" She snapped. "I'm not quite sure they got the memo about the treaty!"

"They are terrorists and not affiliated with Cardassia Prime."

"You know that as fact?" Kathryn hadn't yet found an obvious way - aside from waiting to see if they fired at her - to tell the difference between a Cardassian terrorist and a Cardassian soldier simply by sighting them.

Nechayev hesitated. "I'm afraid you don't have security clearance for this discussion, Ms. Janeway. I've already said too much."

There was no point in arguing, she knew that she wouldn't get anywhere. "Why did you contact me, then?"

"To inform you that unless you stop interfering with the treaty between Cardassia Prime and the Federation, a warrant for your arrest will be issued on all subspace frequencies."

Though they weren't easily available, Kathryn wondered if the other woman was taking a hallucinogenic with her coffee. "What for? I haven't done anything!"

"You've been offering assistance to several colonies on the border,"

"Because Starfleet wont!" Kathryn interjected.

"Regardless, your actions are in violation of the treaty. I'm giving you a friendly warning to stop before we are forced to take action."

"Your friendly warnings usually come with some kind of threat, as I recall."

Nechayev raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by Kathryn's words. "Are you accusing me of something, Ms. Janeway?"

"Of course not, Admiral. Merely pointing out a fact."

"In that case, may I suggest you remember who you are speaking to?"

"I know damn well who I'm speaking to and you need to get laid, lady." She scowled as she terminated the call.

When she turned to look at him, Chakotay somehow managed to look pleased, mildly terrified, and completely off balance all at once. “I’m impressed.”

“I hate to say I told you so, but…”

“You told me you didn’t work for them anymore and I should have trusted you.” He finished for her.

“Pleasing as it is to hear you say that,” Her breath hitched as she had to grip the console even harder to stay on the chair, “Now probably isn’t the time.”

“Right.” He nodded once. “So that option is out the window, what the hell are we going to do-” His sentence came to a sudden halt as the shuddering in the walls around them stopped.

Kathryn looked around warily, waiting for the attack to begin again. “Think they gave up?”

“Doubtful.” Chakotay frowned. “Baker! Do we have sensors yet?”

Baker’s voice floated across the room to them, but it seemed that everyone was too afraid to move lest the attack began again and they were caught unaware. “Not really, boss. When the blasts stopped we got a short burst of data from the probe we left in orbit; there are now two ships up there.”

“Both Cardassian?”

“Unknown.”

Though Kathryn was almost sure she was the only one to hear the quick burst of profanity from Chakotay, she suspected that the sentiment was echoed by all.

He frowned again. “I guess the only thing we can do is wait to see if we’re blown to high hell.”

She’d rather not, but they really didn’t have any options at this point. The best that they could do now was wait and hope that the second ship was batting for their team and not up there conspiring with the Cardassians to figure out the best way to kill them all and make it look like an accident. Or they were strategizing over a way to blow them entirely out of the sky and flee the scene before anyone noticed a missing planet.

It wouldn't have been a first.

With a frown that matched Chakotay's, B'Elanna thudded back into the room and made her way straight to them. "Chakotay!"

"Tell me you have good news?"

"Not today."

He sighed. It really was one of those days. "Hit me with it."

"When I said we needed to evacuate, I wasn't kidding."

He raised an eyebrow. "The attack stopped."

"Thank you. I'd managed to miss that fact." She rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter if they don't fire at us again, the damage is already done. The structural support system has gone from 'not great' to 'oh shit we're going to die.' We have about thirty minutes, if we're lucky, before we're swimming in rubble."

"We don't know what kind of ship is in Orbit with the Cardassians. If we evacuate and go to the surface, we're back to our initial problem; how do we hide?"

"I told you before that was your department and I wasn't being facetious."

He stared at her, his features hard. "B'Elanna."

"Chakotay." Hers matched his perfectly.

"As much as I'd like to see who would win this staring contest," Kathryn started, moving to stand. "I think time is ticking."

For the first time that day, B'Elanna addressed her. "You have a suggestion?"

"Well, no," She admitted, "But if we're going to be, as you say, swimming in rubble, I think I'd like to take my chances on the surface. Can your transporters send us directly to the forest? We've got a better chance of hiding with that canopy."

"No," B'Elanna shook her head. "Our transporters are tenuous at best. They can only transport a short distance, especially through earth."

"We could run." Ayala offered, quietly entering the conversation.

Chakotay shook his head. "They'd start shooting the second we cleared the abandoned city."

"Actually boss," Baker interjected "I think they're too busy battling the other ship up there. Our probe just sent more data and it looks like someone is on our side."

"Identity?"

"Still unknown. But they're keeping the Cardys occupied so I'll happily offer to buy them an ale or two or ten."

Everyone huffed, grateful for the small amount of amusement, before Chakotay turned his attention back to B'Elanna. "I guess our options are that limited, aren't they?"

"They really are." She confirmed.

When he made eye contact with Kathryn, she shrugged one shoulder, unable to offer a better solution than the one currently in front of them.

Chakotay nodded. "Make the announcement. Tell everyone they have exactly five minutes to get whatever they want and be at the transport site or we're leaving without them. Baker, grab the pack you took from Kathryn and bring it with you. Everyone else, I suggest you get a move on."

Once the announcement was made, Kathryn watched as everyone in the room scattered, running towards their sleeping quarters to grab whatever they could carry.

It wasn't lost on her that the Maquis had done this before - had to start from scratch, run for their lives, and learn to be un-materialistic about whatever possessions they held - and she watched them do it with precision and order.

She was content to wait until the time was up and follow someone to the transporter site, but when Chakotay turned to leave, he grabbed her hand and pulled her along with him.

Though she didn't say anything, she did note that he didn't drop her hand until they were in his room - and she would never have remembered how to get there - and he needed both arms to pack the duffle bag that he pulled out from under the single bed.

"Want help?" She offered, if only to rid them of the silence they'd fallen into.

Their relationship was far too delicate at this stage for her to be comfortable in silence with him. It made her feel awkward and she wasn't ready to indulge those feelings while the threat of death was so close to them all.

"Medicine Bundle is in the drawers." He replied quickly, pulling clothing into the bag in a horribly disorganized fashion - something that she knew his inner neat freak would hate.

Turning, Kathryn pulled the top drawer open and grabbed the soft fur. As she went to close the drawer, she noticed the holoimage that rested on top of some of his boxer shorts.

She recognized the photo from one of the many functions that had been held - mostly at Neelix's insistence - over the years. She and Chakotay had been sitting under the view port in the mess hall, glass of champagne in hand, talking about something or other. Someone had managed to snap an image of her laughing hysterically and Chakotay watching her with a soft expression.

She knew only from her hairstyle that the picture had been taken in their seventh and final year in the Delta Quadrant. She could remember the party - a birthday - and she could remember some of the details of the night, but she had no idea what she'd found so funny at the time.

"The Delaney Birthday Bash."

Chakotay's voice was soft and a lot closer to her ear than she'd expected and it made Kathryn jump a little. "When was this taken?"

"Before the impromptu strip show but after the margaritas from hell, as I recall."

She bit her lip for a moment, wondering if now - especially now - was the time to ask the question, before her curiosity got the better of her and the words were being said without permission from her brain. "Why do you still have it?"

"I didn't want to let you go completely."

"Good." She replied quietly, a small smile on her face, before she mentally shook the moment of sentimentality off. "I suppose we should hurry."

He nodded. "We can finish this later."

Adding the medicine bundle and the picture to the clothes and few personal items he'd gathered, Chakotay zipped the duffle bag shut again, grabbed her hand and led her back through the tunnels until they were once more at the 'entrance' to the underground caves which was bustling with Maquis.

Kathryn could see B'Elanna and Tom, Miral held securely in her father’s arms. She recognized most of the Voyager Maquis instantly and took note of the unfamiliar faces.

No one said anything about the fact that Chakotay still held her hand, but she saw baker and Ayala exchange a look before the latter offered her a small smile.

"We all here?" Chakotay called.

When several people responded in the affirmative, he ordered B'Elanna to start transporting them to the surface. Because of the weakness already tainting the power supply, the transports were done in small groups of six or seven. It took longer than they would have liked, but it also ensured that no one was left behind when the system failed completely.

Once everyone was on the surface, Chakotay ordered several people to take up the perimeter. 

B'Elanna immediately disagreed when she was ordered to the centre of the group, to protect Miral if nothing else - not that it would do her any good if there was an aerial assault - but a sharp look from Chakotay stopped her protests, before he turned to Kathryn and ordered her into the middle as well.

The Maquis on the perimeter did a quick sweep to try and spot any ground troops.

When they couldn't confirm the presence of any soldiers waiting to attack, everyone set off at a dead run towards the tree line.

Kathryn's legs protested, again, at the physical exertion and her body sharply reminded her that it had only been a few hours ago that she'd been running in the opposite direction. Ignoring the pain, she pushed forward, following the group in front of her.

When they reached the half-way mark, she felt the familiar - and, in this case, disconcerting - feeling of a transporter grip her.

***

As she materialized, Kathryn cursed the fact that she had no weapon to defend herself with. Several others had been transported with her, almost fifteen, and they all appeared to be having similar thoughts.

"Recognize the decor?" B'Elanna asked her quietly, holding the baby - who was, blessedly, sleeping through the whole ordeal - close to her breast.

"No, I don't." Kathryn replied. It might have been a good thing that she didn't recognize her surroundings but it may also have been a bad thing; she hadn't decided yet.

Though Cardassian ships, like Starfleet, all had similar aesthetics, it wouldn't have been unheard of for 'terrorists' to either steal a ship form someone else or re-fit one from Cardassia to give them a new, and much less recognizable, look.

By the same token, though, if they'd been transported to the other ship, then they could have walked into the hands of a friend or a foe and it remained to be seen which these people were.

Kathryn wasn't a fan of the uncertainty and she was grateful, though surprised, when the doors opened and a familiar face stared at them.

"The rest of your party are in our other transporter room." He told them.

"Nice timing." Kathryn offered, moving forward to embrace their rescuer. "Now what are you doing in this sector, Tuvok?"

He accepted the hug with as much grace as a non-tactile race could. "Responding to your distress call it would seem, Captain."

"Just Kathryn, Tuvok. I don't work for Starfleet."

"I have been informed."

"Oh?"

"Admiral Nechayev asked me to assist you in finding your way back to Earth for a hearing."

"She what?"

Just as always, he appeared unmoved by either her outburst or her harsh tone. "I have been advised that you are to be placed under arrest and escorted to Earth, where you are to be tried for treason."

"What the hell is that woman on?"

"And where do I get some?" Tom piped up.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Kathryn couldn't help but shake her head a little. Tom was usually good for lightening the mood and today appeared to be no exception.

Nevertheless, she'd had just about enough of Nechayev and her mind games. "When did she contact you?"

"Several hours ago." He replied seriously. "She was questioning your whereabouts."

"And you said?"

"That I had not heard from you for almost three months but, if you were to contact me, I would relay her message."

Tom whistled. "I'll be she loved that."

Kathryn silently agreed with the sarcasm. "So how did you know I was here?"

The feminine voice that replied certainly did not belong to Tuvok. "With a little help from Borg Technology."

"Seven!"

"Captain." She nodded a greeting to the other familiar faces in the room before, much like what they'd come to expect from the young blonde, she jumped straight to the point. "We've been tracking Admiral Nechayev's communications since she first contacted Commander Tuvok almost a month ago. It seems that she has been searching diligently for you and we traced your call to her this morning and arrived as soon as we were able. We thought you may require some assistance."

"And well timed assistance it was at that. Thank you."

“You are welcome.”

“What’s the status of the Cardassians?”

“Disabled.” He replied. “We anticipate that their repairs will take up to a day to complete, by which time we will be out of their sensor range. We are already moving away from their position.”

"If you two are down here," Tom started, moving to the front of the group, "Who's flying the Ship? Did you bring Harry along too or something?"

Kathryn couldn’t help but smile at his words.

She had wondered how the two friends had handled being separated. It was with a small twinge of guilt that she realized that she had no idea what Harry was doing with himself while she had been traipsing the Badlands.

"No, we did not." Seven replied seriously, thankfully breaking Kathryn’s morose thoughts. "Lieutenant Commander Worf is currently piloting this vessel."

"Worf?" Kathryn repeated, frowning. "Isn't he stationed on Deep Space 9?"

"Correct."

Her frown deepened. "And why is he helping a small group of Maquis escape Cardassian terrorists?"

"Commander Worf's wife was killed by Gul Dukat." Seven replied. "There are several rumours that the Cardassian terrorists are being largely influenced by Gul Dukat's memoirs."

"His memoirs?" Kathryn repeated, an eyebrow raised.

She couldn't imagine any Cardassian soldier wanting to document anything he or she had done while in the service of Cardassia Prime, either pre or post treaty.

"Apparently." Seven answered, appearing as convinced as she was.

"Well, either way, we appreciate the rescue."

"You are welcome." Tuvok bowed slightly. "However, our time together is to be short-lived. We have been instructed to escort you to the nearest habitable planet before we return to DS9 to report the results of our test flight."

"A test flight?" Kathryn frowned. She almost didn't want to know, but... "Who authorized you to be here?"

"Colonel Kira."

Tom frowned. "Isn't she at the top of the food chain on DS9 now that Sisko has gone?"

"She is." Seven replied, cocking her head to the side. "And she asked us to take this vessel on a test flight to ensure the upgraded weapons system is functioning at peak efficiency."

Tom smirked, understanding. "How'd that work for you?"

"The weapons appear to be functioning adequately." Tuvok didn't offer any more information and it appeared that no one was really going to ask.

"Where are you taking us?" Kathryn asked.

"There is a habitable planet approximately two days travel from this location. We have enlisted the help of a small cargo freighter to transport all of the Maquis there. You will be beamed to the surface with supplies that the townspeople are expecting."

"And are they expecting us?"

"No." Tuvok replied. "However, I do not believe that they will be displeased by your arrival."

Before she could ask him to elaborate, the doors opened and Chakotay walked in, followed by a few more of the crew, his eyes finding and holding hers as he spoke. "Everyone okay?"

"We're fine." Kathryn answered. "I take it you’ve been introduced to our hosts?"

"I have. A nice surprise." He nodded to Seven and Tuvok in greeting.

Kathryn watched his exchange - could it even be called that? - with Seven with silent interest.

She knew that they'd dated briefly before Voyager had returned to the Alpha Quadrant - the Admiral had more than made certain she knew - but she hadn't asked either of them about it up front.

Given the night she herself had spent with Chakotay on the eve of their return, she assumed that his 'liaison' with the young blonde had fluttered out before that.

If it hadn't... well, it was a moot point now anyway.

"I hear we've got a ride with a cargo ship?"

"Correct."

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "Anyone we know?"

"Unlikely," Tuvok replied. "The Captain of the cargo ship is widely known as neutral in the conflict with Cardassia. He only agreed to help us when he learnt of Captain Janeway's recent activities in the area."

"Why did that convince him?" Kathryn frowned slightly.

She'd been doing her damndest to keep a low profile and not throw her name around, even if that was, apparently, what had saved them.

"It would seem that Captain Corbett is from Orill."

Kathryn remembered her time on Orill. She'd helped them find a way to treat their polluted lakes for drinking water, before she'd helped them harness hydroelectricity. It had been a slow process and she'd been on the planet for almost a month and a half, staying with a generous family, before she'd felt ready to move on.

Chakotay raised an eyebrow at the name of the planet but she shook her head slightly and offered a look that, she hoped, conveyed something along the lines of 'I'll explain later.'

He seemed to understand because he nodded once and turned back to Tuvok. "So when does our ride arrive?"

"We will rendezvous will Captain Corbett in approximately twenty-two point three minutes."

Kathryn couldn't help but smile. "Precise as always."

"Indeed."

 ***

Once Corbett had arrived, all of the Maquis had been beamed to his small Cargo Ship after a too-short goodbye between Tuvok and Kathryn, including a promise to visit Vulcan if she had the chance.

Corbett had greeted them on their arrival before returning to pilot the craft. It wasn’t a big vessel but it was big enough to house them all on a temporary basis. When any of the Maquis complained about the living arrangements - and, really, they’d all slept in worse places before, she was certain - Chakotay was quick to remind them that beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Kathryn spent a brief amount of time with Corbett, talking about her time on Orill with him. It seemed that he hadn’t been home in almost a year and was eager to learn anything she could remember.

She offered him a place with them but he wasn’t finished with his work yet, he said. There were more Cardassians to stop and he wasn’t going to rest until there was no more danger to what was left of his people.

The majority of the journey to Orill, for Kathryn, was spent talking with the Maquis that she didn’t already know from Voyager. There was only about twenty of them but she made an effort with each person. Chakotay spent most of his time talking with the Maquis as well.

Kathryn knew that they were formulating a back-up plan, but she kept herself separate from that.

Depending on how things went with Chakotay, she would either stay with the Maquis on Orill - or wherever they decided to go next - or she would continue on with her thus-far solitary journey; travelling from planet to planet and offering assistance wherever she could.

Of course, despite whatever good intentions she’d had of talking to him and figuring out what her next step would be, Kathryn didn’t see Chakotay until the night before they were due to arrive.

She found him in the large room that was currently housing half of the Maquis. Bedrolls littered the floor, bags were strewn here, there and everywhere, and it was uncomfortable as hell, but as safe as they could possibly hope to be, given the situation.

Chakotay was on his bedroll, scrolling through a PADD in his hand.

“What are you reading?” She asked from the doorway, making her way slowly across the minefield of people’s belongings until she stood beside his bedroll.

“Information on Orill. Thought I should get to know the lay of the land.” He sighed as he tapped the PADD against his thigh. “The Cardassians really did a number on them, didn’t they?”

Kathryn remembered what the planet had been like when she’d arrived. They were still reeling from the attack when she’d set her feet down on the planet.

The locals - what was left of them - were dirty and tired and trying to find a way to survive with their world in ruins. She’d unknowingly walked onto a rescue scene and had spent the better part of her first few hours helping to rescue a small child from the debris of a fallen building.

Thinking of Hannafin made her smile. He was only about ten or so, but he’d been scared out of his mind and trying to protect his baby cousin when Kathryn had found him.

She’d helped pull both children from the building and Hannafin’s parents had taken her in out of gratitude. She’d then spent most of her time with the boy following her like a shadow as she worked with everyone to re-build their small town. Though the work had progressed in leaps and bounds by the time Kathryn had said her goodbyes, they had still had a long way to go before they returned to the flourishing planet that Orill had once been.

“They really did.” She finally answered quietly.

“How do you feel about going back?” He asked, gesturing for her to sit.

Finding a place across from him on the bedroll, Kathryn shrugged. “I’d like to see them again. They’re good people. Very friendly.” 

“So I’ve been reading.” He nodded in agreement and they lapsed into silence.

Kathryn looked down at her clasped hands and sighed, quietly.

She knew that they needed to discuss what would happen next, but she was almost afraid of what he would say. Despite everything that had happened in the last few days, it had only been a short time ago when Chakotay had her written off as a traitor to him and the Maquis. Would he be willing to trust her again so easily?

She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“What are you thinking?” He finally asked.

“Wondering what happens next.”

“With the Maquis or us?”

“Both.” Kathryn admitted.

“The Maquis would be happy for you to stay with us, you know.”

She’d already got that impression from everyone she’d spoken to. Individually, they’d all issued an invitation in one form or another for her to join them, even the “new” people that she’d only really just met.

But the leader might be a different story, she feared. “And you?”

“I wouldn’t be against it, either.” He smiled softly. “I’m sorry about everything I said to you. I had no right.”

She waved away his apology.

If they’d been having this conversation a year or two ago, she would have been self-righteous and bitchy. But the last year had taught her a lot about life.

Seeing someone having to rebuild everything from their friendships to their home had taught her to appreciate anything and everything she had. “I could have handled it better, too.”

“We’ve both been pretty stubborn and pigheaded, haven’t we?”

“Nothing new, then.” She shrugged humorously. 

“I’m sorry I never gave you a chance to explain.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand what was happening. I didn’t want Nechayev to have even more of a reason to hunt you down, but I still should have told you.”

Chakotay stretched out his arm, palm facing her. “Friends?”

The significance behind the gesture made her chest feel tight.

Reaching out her own hand, Kathryn lay her palm flat against his and let him entwine their fingers. “Friends.”

***

When they reached orbit, they said a quick goodbye to Corbett.

He wouldn’t come down with them but he asked Kathryn to find his sister, Sfard, and wish her well.

Nodding her agreement, Kathryn kissed his cheek and quietly thanked him for his help. In turn, he did the same, thanking her for helping a planet of strangers when she could have easily passed by without a concern for what they were going through.

Once everyone had re-materialized on the planet, Kathryn looked at the barren land around her.

She could see the small village that she had helped to build in the distance. She'd been on this planet just two short months ago, but she could already see a world of difference in what the locals had done in her absence.

"So what now?" Someone asked.

Chakotay covertly took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, which Kathryn returned. "Now we start again." He told them as the group turned and headed towards the greeting party that had set out to meet them.

***

Kathryn set about unpacking her things. What little she had, that was.

The bag that had carried all of her worldly possessions lay empty on the bed and she looked at the few piles of clothes in dismay, thinking of the full wardrobe that she had once called her own. It seemed a silly thing to be thinking about, she knew, but it was hard to look at her life and see it all reflected in two piles of clothes, her favourite coffee cup and a holoalbum.

Still, she knew that she had a lot more to her name than some people and she had to remind herself to be grateful for that.

They’d only been on Orill for a few hours. Hannafin had been part of their welcoming party and Kathryn had spun him around in circles while he shouted in joy. It had reminded her of why the work she had undertaken in the last year was so important.

Once the introductions had been made, everyone had been quickly shuffled into town. An impromptu celebration had been held, with everyone sitting around a fire in the centre of town, talking as though they had all known each other for years.

Though she hadn’t managed to find her at the party, Kathryn had promised herself that she would find Sfard tomorrow and pass along Corbett’s well wishes.

“You busy?”

The voice from the door startled her and she jumped.

Turning, she smiled and shook her head, gesturing for Chakotay to enter. “Is everyone settled?”

When they had offered to set up camp - apparently a few people had thought to bring small self-assembly shelters - the locals had point-blank refused and no one had gone home without two or three - or six, in some cases - Maquis boarders. Kathryn had found herself back in the room that she had helped to build and then called her own.

Hannafin had demanded that she stay with them again and she hadn’t had the heart, or reason, to refuse the young boy. He’d shyly asked if her friend - “The one who holds your hand?” - would want to stay with them too and, thus, Chakotay had found himself sleeping on a small couch in the living room.

“Yes. I went for a walk around the town and everyone has a place to sleep.” He smiled gently. “These people have done some amazing things, considering they were only attacked a few months ago.”

“I know.” Kathryn agreed. “One of the neighbouring planets helped with supplies after the first attack. Orill was very lucky; they weren’t hit as bad as some of the others. Some of the town was still intact.”

“Lucky.” He chuckled, but it held no amusement. “Is it always like this?”

“Like what?”

“You have your own personal fan club on every planet?”

Kathryn smiled at the obtuse reference to Hannafin. “Almost all.”

“Should I be jealous?”

She couldn’t think of anything humorous to reply with. “No.”

“Good.” Chakotay moved closer to her. “Kathryn…”

“Yes?”

He paused before he tugged at his earlobe, clearly uncomfortable. “I missed you, you know. Despite everything, I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” She hadn’t let herself admit it often, but his absence had left an ache inside of her, one that she had felt - and ignored - on Voyager, but it had only grown worse after their night together.

Smiling almost shyly, she took a step closer to him, craning her neck back so she could look him in the eye.

The look in his eyes reminded her of everything she’d been trying to forget for the last year and Kathryn found herself both frightened and exhilarated by the potential she saw in them. “Are we really going to do this again?”

“Do you want to?”

The question was simple and Kathryn knew that a yes or no answer would suffice, but she felt her belly knot in anticipation.

She should say no.

Neither of them had a very good track record with relationships, especially when it came to each other. And, what’s more, though they no longer had to answer to any kind of military organization, Kathryn knew she wouldn’t relish the idea of facing B’Elanna if they screwed this up again.

But, still…

“Yes.” She nodded quickly, once, and it took less than a heartbeat for them to be entwined, mouths fused together, hands pawing at clothes until flesh touched flesh.

There was very little finesse, but there was very little need for it. Not with them. Not now, not after everything.

Chakotay pulled back from her and she growled a little at the loss. He smiled - and it was pure male satisfaction - before he changed the angle and kissed her again. This time, he nibbled at her lips, pulling them towards him with his teeth. He used enough force to dent them and turn the surrounding area white and, though he never broke her skin, the danger sent a jolt of desire through her, heading for her clit.

Part of her wanted this time to be slow and loving.

Their night together a year ago had been wild and passionate and they’d whispered promises of ‘slower’ to each other as they lay sweaty and sated. Of course, later had taken a year to come about, and the desire to enjoy him in a long, languid fashion was still just as strong, but there was a pooling wetness between her thighs that was insistent and she felt a matching desire in the throbbing erection against her stomach.

Their bodies and their lips never broke contact, but he somehow managed to walk them backwards the last few steps – eyes closed – until she was lowering herself onto the mattress.

Kathryn wasn’t sure how they managed it, but she found herself sat on the edge of the bed, neck straining upwards to kiss him, while one hand pulled his hip closer to her and the other pushed her meagre pile of belongings to the floor with a dull thud.

She clawed at his skin, pulling him down onto the bed, onto her. With their naked bodies flush against each other, Kathryn sighed contentedly. She hadn’t thought they would ever be like this again and she realized, now, exactly how much that thought hurt.

Determined not to spoil the mood with depressing thoughts, Kathryn snaked a hand down between their bodies to grip the hard erection between them.

She palmed him expertly, listening to his breathing change from slow and even to erratic and shallow. His dark eyes held hers, watching her face as she pulled the head of his cock to her folds. Carefully, she rubbed their flesh together, letting the head of his penis nudge at her entrance, before she dragged it up to press against her clit, her own breathy sighs clashing with the sound of him sucking in air through his parted lips.

Unable to resist, Kathryn used her free hand to tangle through the hairs at the base of his neck, pulling his face down until their lips could meet again, tongues battling for dominance in a dance of seduction and heat and want.

The had both been too eager last time and, after straining against each other, had joined in one quick motion, both temporarily forgetting that it had been a long time since Kathryn had been with anyone. Last time, the first thrust had stung and burned for a few long, painful moments.

This time, there was no such discomfort, but Kathryn could feel Chakotay hesitate until she met his eyes and smiled slightly. With one careful thrust, he pushed into her until he was buried balls-deep and she was gasping with pleasure.

Neither of them were particularly interested in ‘slow’ and Kathryn wriggled her hips a little, trying to get him to move. Chakotay huffed a laugh at her eagerness, but it was quickly changed into a groan when she clenched her internal muscles around him. He got the point.

Using slow, steady, strokes, he started thrusting, filling her before making her ache with temporary loss. The muscles in her thighs were pulling with each movement, protesting at the unfamiliar activity. They burnt a little, but that only heightened the multitude of thoughts and feelings that swam through her at the speed of light.

Pressure built quickly, low in her belly, strong and overwhelming. Her breath came in pants; she couldn’t suck in enough air to her lungs, but the sensations were so intense that she was relatively unconcerned with the lack of oxygen.

Kathryn knew that it wouldn’t take her long. She was even more certain of that fact as his hand brushed across her belly, searching through her curls until he thumb danced in circles over her clit in a rhythm that matched their fast coupling. His hand trailed down a little, feeling himself push into her compliant flesh as she stretched to accommodate his size.

Their eyes met and that was enough for her. The knot of pressure in her belly dissipated as she called out nonsensical sounds as a rush of fluid lubricated the hard cock inside of her.

Chakotay slowed his strokes, bringing her down gently as she rode out the orgasm, her internal muscles clenching around him, her body shaking and sweat beading on her forehead, her breath being ripped from her already struggling lungs, her nipples hard and aching, perched on engorged breasts.

When her breath and her ability to think returned property, her body demanded sleep, any energy she had long gone. Save for the welcome hardness that was still within her, Kathryn thought it quite likely that she could contently sleep for a week.

But that hardness reminded her of the unfulfilled man above and inside of her and Kathryn forced her eyes open to look at him.

Eyes that shot fire looked back at her and her breath hitched once more. It took a few moments, but the shuddering in her body finally slowed and his pace picked up again almost instantly as he sought his own pleasure, thrusting into her and using her body for everything she was more than willing to give.

Chakotay’s thumb moved back to her clit and she moaned weakly, low in her throat, her body still tender from the last orgasm. “No, please, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

Kathryn had a bad – but very, very good – feeling that a second orgasm for her had just become his current goal.

He thrust into her harder; the pace was rough and demanding, pushing her further into the soft mattress as he used her body. Sweat pooled on his forehead, too, and she could feel it make his skin slippery when she ran her hands along his back.

Every breath felt like it was being forcefully pulled from her lungs again, accompanied by a sound that Kathryn hadn’t known she was capable of making. She felt so full, so incredibly full, and when she tilted her hips upward and felt him penetrate her just that little bit deeper, she thought she might well die.

More to the point, she thought she might want too.

Her second orgasm caught her completely off-guard. She wasn’t sure if she screamed – she wasn’t even totally certain that she remained conscious throughout it – but she knew that Chakotay called her name at some point, echoing her own passion-filled cries, as he emptied himself inside of her.

He collapsed on top of her, their cheeks touching as they both tried to draw air. Her hands stroked the length of his sweaty back and she could feel the muscles twitching as his orgasm faded with hers, merely a ghost of pleasure that hummed through her and made her feel sated and weak.

“If nothing else,” He huffed against her cheek, “We certainly do that well.”

Kathryn was laughing as she kissed him again.

***

Opening her eyes, Kathryn groaned when she saw the morning light filtering through the home-made curtain that protected her bedroom from the sun.

She could faintly hear Hannafin playing outside with Greeno and Stahl, but even the childish enthusiasm didn’t make her any more inclined to greet the day.

Warm lips found her neck, blessedly disrupting her depressing thoughts. “Do we really have to get up?”

His voice vibrated against her skin and it made Kathryn shudder. Despite all of the times they’d teased and touched and caressed and worshipped each other, the novelty still hadn’t worn off. The temptation to flutter their day away lost in each other almost overwhelmed Kathryn - as it did every day - but she knew full well that there was work to be done.

They were beginning to look at plans for a small space station to sit in high orbit of the planet. It would be a long time coming, but if the crops turned out as promising as they currently looked, there might be an avenue of trade to be capitalized and the town Elders had decided to try and establish communication with the outside world again.

It was somewhat of a controversial decision to make, given what had happened the last time they’d laid out the welcome mat for visitors, but it was widely agreed on that they wouldn’t be able to keep to themselves forever. Just last month, they’d been contacted by a group of almost five hundred survivors from the other side of the planet. The possibility of more survivors fuelled them on.

“We really do.” Kathryn yawned, turning to curl her body in close to his. “I promised Peyton I’d come talk to him about storing communications in the new database, too.”

“Is B’Elanna coming?”

“Mmm,” She sighed, “Yes. Tom is going to take Miral to see Glazer and the new baby.”

Chakotay sighed, too. “Okay,” he started, “Let’s go.”

Once they’d gotten out of bed - and it had taken a further fifteen minutes for Kathryn to find the will to move the thick blanket from her shoulders - they dressed and headed down to the main workshop where plans were currently being held.

Chakotay stood back and watched Kathryn and B’Elanna thoroughly confuse the hell out of Peyton - and, he admitted, him too - before he reminded them that a good start would be finishing their own sentences.

“We’re picking up a message buoy.” Peyton, the closest thing to a communications officer that the planet had, frowned as he read the message that had come up over his attempt to save a previous communication.

Given that the rather primitive - by today’s standards - communications system had only been installed a few days ago, Kathryn was impressed. “What’s it say?”

“It’s a message sent out on all subspace frequencies, including several buoys and beacons…” His frown deepened as he turned to look at the people gathered. “Kathryn, it’s a warrant for your arrest.”

***

"You know you're a wanted criminal now?"

"I know." Kathryn shrugged. "There's nothing I can do about it."

"You're in good company, at least."

“That is true.” She agreed with a small smile, pulling on her sleepwear. She could feel his eyes on her, but she knew just as well as he did that neither had the energy for much more than falling into bed at this point.

"So we're just going to stay outside the federation? Stick to the backwater planets and hope that we can do some good?" Chakotay sighed, softly.

Kathryn sighed, too. “I guess so.” She finally shrugged.

"How is that kind of life going to satisfy you? I know how much you wanted to get back to Earth when we were in the Delta Quadrant."

"I know. But these people need help, Chakotay. I'm not prepared to fall into some quiet little life when I can do something to make a difference."

"You always were headstrong."

She shrugged. "Some things never change."

"No, they really don't." He smiled, softly, and Kathryn knew he was talking about more than just her stubborn nature. “You know," He started after a moment, "I wont be able to guarantee that you’ll have a bathtub on every planet. Or coffee, for that matter.”

“I have my own supply of coffee,” She told him, thinking fondly of all the ‘dealers’ she had on standby around the area, “And I believe I was OK with the idea of the river when we were on New Earth. I’m sure there’ll be enough rivers around to satisfy me.”

He laughed. “I’ll remind you of that when you’re complaining.”

She smacked his arm lightly. “I don’t complain!”

“Uh huh.”

"I could always just expect you to build me a new tub on every planet."

"And how would that be helping the locals?"

"Sometimes a hot bath solves everything," She replied seriously.

Chakotay smiled and shook his head a little before they fell into an easy silence for several long moments, enjoying the quiet.

It was a rarity for them to have peace on this scale. With the life that Kathryn had led over the last year and a half, peace generally meant she was hiding or the planet's population had already been wiped out.

The same was true for the Maquis members that she now called her family.

They’d spent six month on Orill before the message buoy had reached them and that was the most permanent home that any of them were likely to see again anytime soon. They’d helped the local people with anything they needed, from construction to hauling pails of water.

Until the message buoy had been received, no one had really talked about what they would do next. They had all known that, eventually, Orill wouldn’t need them anymore, but they weren’t sure if they would continue on and try to help more people, or settle down with the locals that they called friends despite the danger.

Maddux, Hannafin’s father, had told them that they were welcome to stay or come back at any time, but they’d all known that the longer they stayed on Orill, the more chance of drawing attention to the planet. It had been unanimously decided that those people had suffered enough without being at risk to another attack because they housed a group of Maquis. With that in mind, they had moved on to one of the neighbouring planets.

Several Starfleet officers - including one not-so-young-and-naive-anymore Harry Kim - had joined them once the news of Nechayev’s ‘warrant’ for Kathryn’s arrest had been made public knowledge.

The ever-growing group of people travelled together, helping where they could, moving on when they had to. Always one step ahead of anyone left that may have been still rooting for Nechayev’s cause.

"So, what now?" Kathryn finally asked, curling her body into his side as they lay on the bed - a luxury given their lifestyle - in the dark.

"Now, I think," Chakotay paused, a hand running along her bare thigh until he found the spot he’d known would be there, "I think it's time you told me more about that scar on your ass..."

***

End

***

Title means “To return home.”