Title: Great Expectations
Author: Ky (venom69)
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Rating:
ADULT
Summary: She doesn't expect to be perfect.
Character/Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Spoilers:
None… the show’s ended!
Warnings: None, really.
Prompt Number for fic101: 18 – Writer’s Choice
Author’s Notes: Song belongs to Billy Joel. Sometimes I get
annoyed by the fics out there... this is my response.
Disclaimer: Usual guff. Not mine, promise to put them back
where I found them.
Date: 07/01/07
***
Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make believe until
it's only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust
***
She
doesn't expect to be perfect.
At the end of the day, they are still human.
Sooner or later, her stomach is
going to rumble when he's in the middle of going down on her and sooner her later he is going to fart in bed... preferably
when she's not going down on
him, though.
He is a big man and she is a small woman, so right from the start,
she knew that there could be some... issues, if they ever decided that they were going to get naked together.
When
they do make that decision - no crisis, no overwhelming urges, no near-death experiences, just the knowledge that it is time
- Kathryn tells him that she has concerns and he listens and treats her with respect.
She vows never to lie to him
about it.
If it's bad... well, she's not going to say
that and then try to pick up the pieces of his broken
ego, but she's certainly not going to lie and tell him that he's the best lover she's ever had. If it's good, she will sigh
happily and snuggle into her embrace.
Sometimes it's about her needs, sometimes it's about his; usually it's about
them both.
But nothing about them would fit into one of the trashier holonovels that circulate the Ship.
Her
shoes and socks don't magically fall away because it's unromantic to remove them. Her bra and panties don't always match and
they're not always lace and silk. She doesn't start getting wet at the mere thought of him - though if she's given a few minutes
alone, she can work some pretty good visuals - and sometimes it takes more effort than others for her to be ready.
Sometimes
it hurts; sometimes the angle is all wrong.
She doesn’t bend like a porn star and, thankfully, he doesn't expect
that they can perform any kind of sexual marathons. Sometimes her orgasm makes her scream; sometimes it’s nothing more
than a release of pressure that makes her sigh. He knows that once she comes, he has to back off because it actually hurts
to be touched for a few moments afterwards. When they are both finished, she has to go to the bathroom and clean herself up.
It might be the 24th century, but bladder infections are still something to be avoided at all costs.
Likewise,
his boots and socks don't magically disappear either. His boxer shorts - going 'commando' chafes, apparently - aren't always
a fantasy. He doesn't always get hard just because she wears rose perfume. He can't last for hours and hours on end - which
she couldn't take, anyway - and sometimes, it's once and the shows over.
He doesn't bend like a porn star either and
when someone anonymously gives him a Kama Sutra book for his birthday, they spend hours laughing at some of the positions
and how they would
never do it without a medical team standing by. Afterwards, he always wants to roll over and sleep,
but he uses the bathroom after her and cleans himself.
Her expectations are real; they wont always come at the same
time - she wont always come at all - and their sexual appetites are never going to be completely in sync. He's going to be
too tired when she's all fired up and she's going to have a headache when he's ready to go.
But she reminds herself
that she is in possession of a state of the art vibrator - And she had once thought that Phoebe would be good for nothing!
- and he has two fully functioning hands. They both have damn good imaginations.
Maybe, eventually, neither of them
will want to have sex together anyway.
She doesn't care though.
Right now, at this point in their lives, it
might not be perfect - hell, it might not always be
good - but it's enough for her and he has never complained.
They
don't make love three times a day, or even three times a week.
There are times when they are both too tired/exhausted/emotionally
drained to do more than kiss each other goodnight and slip into the embrace of sleep. They don't curl their bodies around
each other every night; sometimes she just wants to sleep and not think about movement that could wake her partner.
Sometimes
he snores; sometimes she talks in her sleep.
They have both been on the receiving end of a good kick right out of
the bed and neither have complained. She simply picks up her pillow of the floor and crawls back into bed, vowing to tease
him about it the next morning but she never does.
During
that week of the month, he knows better than to even
look at her with anything resembling desire. In the week before, he knows that she is horny as hell but generally too uncomfortable
and bloated to do anything about it.
But her realistic expectations don’t stop at their sex life.
Not
every meal that he makes is delicious. She doesn't always want to eat anyway. When she cooks, they very rarely bother eating
it... but Neelix feels better when he sees them for dinner at least twice a week.
Some nights they don't even see
each other at meal time, so neither of their cooking skills really matter.
They don't say 'I love you' every day. They
don't need to.
She doesn't rush into his arms when he returns from an away mission but she is always -
always
- in sickbay when he wakes from being ill.
They don't share all of the same interests and they've had some amusing
arguments about which music should be playing.
Sometimes she's so angry with him that she doesn't even want to
look
at him, so he goes back to his Quarters for the night and then buys her breakfast in the morning.
Sometimes he is
so angry with her that he doesn't even bother showing up at her Quarters post-shift and she seeks him out the next morning,
apologises and makes him buy her breakfast.
The crew knows about them but they don't flaunt it.
She'll hold
his arm in public but there is little chance that the crew would ever see
anything even remotely 'juicy' between them.
They
both want children but neither of them are stupid enough to even risk it while they’re still trying to get home. They
have ‘that talk’ and decide that when the reach Earth, they can open the subject again.
Until then, they
both regularly attend their appointments to update their boosters – and the Doctor is impressed that he doesn’t
have to force her, so it works on all levels, really.
She is not his wife.
She is his Captain, Friend and Lover
- in that order.
He is not her husband.
He is her First Officer, Friend and Partner - in that order.
It's
not perfect.
None of it is.
But she's happy and that's enough.
***
End
