Title: Last Time
Author: Ky (venom69)
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Rating: Age Friendly
Summary: She was working up the courage to ask him if he was able to build a double bed.
Character/Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Spoilers: None… the shows ended!
Warnings: None.
Prompt Number for fic101: 13 - Sunrise
Author’s Notes: Song belongs to Evanescence
Disclaimer: Usual guff. Not mine, promise to put them back where I found them.
Date: 04/01/07

***

I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
Don't give in to the pain
Don't try to hide

***

If she had known that this was the last sunrise she would see, Kathryn would have opened her eyes wider to the beauty. Here, the sun rose with such stunning colors that every time she had seen it - which was mostly in the first few weeks when she hadn't been sleeping all that well - her breath would catch in her throat and she would wish for the ability to bottle the hues of red, blue, pink, purple and yellow.

If she had known that this was the last cup of coffee that she'd make here, Kathryn would have savored the cup. She would have let her fingers hold the metal too long, until she could feel the heat radiating from it. She would have drunk it in sips instead of the normal gulps she took in order to get the blessed caffeine into her body as soon as possible. She would have closed her eyes and studied the taste, the texture.

If she had known that this was the last time she would make him lunch, she would have taken more care with it. She would have made something more than a few sandwiches and some fruit. She would have laid the table with a cloth. She would have served him a glass of wine, maybe even used one of their emergency candles. She would have sat with him, instead of fussing about. She would have talked with him, asked him about his latest project... he was always building something.

She was working up the courage to ask him if he was able to build a double bed.

If she had known that this was the last time she would tend to her beloved tomatoes, she would have let her hands caress the dirt. She would have pulled the weeds out with more care, ensuring that there was no trace of them left. She wouldn’t have let the dirt under her nails bother her. She would have continued to talk to them, encourage their growth. Told them how wonderful they'd taste when she put them in a salad and served them.

If she had know that this was the last chance she had with him, just Kathryn and Chakotay, she would have told him that she had no opinion, but he would be welcome to sit with her for just a while longer.

She wouldn't have heard it, then.

The sound that ended the future that she could have had.

Chakotay looks at her now, sadly. He doesn't want to say goodbye to this. He doesn't want to leave their paradise, their New Earth. He likes it here; he says that the life reminds him of his childhood.

He wants to stay, wants to stay with Kathryn and the potential that he has with her.

"Ready?"

He doesn't want Captain Janeway back.

Her eyes reply to everything he doesn’t say, her blue orbs tainted with the same emotions.

The monkey is there, perhaps to say goodbye. Perhaps he's hoping to steal one of her still-growing tomatoes. Or perhaps he can feel the tension in the air, like he could feel the plasma storm. "There you are. At least I get to say good bye. Feel free to use the house." Captain Janeway stretches her hand up and taps the com badge once again pinned to her breast. "Janeway to Voyager. Two to beam up."

She's going to miss the sunrise. The coffee. The lunches. The tomato plants. The monkey.

The possibility.

If only she had known...

***

End