Title: Age Old
Author: Ky (venom69)
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Rating: Age Friendly
Summary: "If I were you, I’d have a better opening phrase ready for Starfleet."
Character/Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Spoilers: None… the shows ended!
Warnings: None.
Prompt Number for fic101: 13 - Photo
Author’s Notes: Song belongs to John Farnham.
Disclaimer: Usual guff. Not mine, promise to put them back where I found them.
Date: 03/01/07

***

See the lovers in the faded photograph.
She's making funny faces; he's trying not to laugh.
Do you remember the way we used to be?
When love lifted us up, made us feel so free.

***

She holds the photo in her hand, clutching it protectively in her weak fingers.

It is a photo of a couple, from so very long ago.

The woman wears a soft blue dress that clings to her chest and hips and flows to her knees. Long red hair sits in a loose braid as it falls over her shoulder. The man wears a white shirt, broken pin stripes running vertical along the fabric and tight brown pants.

The photo is a candid shot and the couple are laughing.

The woman's hand is on the man's chest as her eyes twinkle in amusement and her mouth is open mid-giggle. His own eyes sparkle with a similar amusement, but his gaze is tinged with affection and love. His smile is wide.

She remembers that the holoimager had fallen from its place on the shelf.

The photo hadn't been discovered until months later and though her memory fails her sometimes, she remembers the night she found it.

***

It's taken her over six months, but Kathryn is finally ready to unpack the 'New Earth' crate that hides in her closet.

She knows that her blue dress - his favourite - is in there, as well as her other civilian clothes. Her perfumes, the book she was reading, her holoimager and other things are still packed tightly.

It hasn't been opened since she put the lid on it six months ago as they packed to return to Voyager.

As much as she has missed her possessions, Kathryn just couldn't bring herself to delve into the box and the memories that it brought to the forefront of her mind.

Now is different, though.

Now she is ready to go in there and get her stuff back, memories be damned.

Stop acting like you're sixteen! She tells herself firmly when she feels the beginning of a tremor in her hand as she reaches out to open the lid.

The crate sits on her bed and she sits in front of it, cross legged and trying to convince herself that it wont bite.

You're too old for this. Just get the stuff out.

She sighs once and steels herself, beginning to pull out the various PADD's that rest on top - her logs, some of her research, books - quickly scanning over them as she continues to pull the items from the crate.

When she pulls out her holoimager, she turns it on and quickly scans through the photos saved on it.

A picture of the monkey, her favourite tree, her bathtub, her tomatoes, their shelter, one of Chakotay working on his sand paintings, smiling at the camera, and... oh.

Kathryn stares at the candid - and upside down - shot of her and Chakotay, taken on their last day there.

Turning the holoimager around, she examines the photo from the correct angle.

She remembers laughing with him as they stood in the doorway to their shelter, her hand on his chest. She doesn't remember the joke, but she remembers their startled gasps as the holoimager had fallen. She'd never thought to look to see if it had taken a picture or not and she smiles softly as she runs her finger over the image.

The fact that soft tears fall from her eyes goes unnoticed until one lands across the screen, obscuring Chakotay's face, but Kathryn doesn't move to swipe them away as they fall.

***

B'Elanna Paris comes to see her in the afternoon.

She smiles as she greets the other woman and they hug carefully, mindful of her frail body.

"You look well," B'Elanna says, smiling softly as she sits on the edge of her bed.

"Stop lying, I look terrible and we both know it."

The once-dark haired - now mostly grey - woman laughs. "You haven't change a bit in the sixty odd years we've known each other, you know that?"

She raises her eyebrows, trying to look stern but failing under the effort. "I have a few more grey hairs now than when we first met. And I don't think I could move as fast as I did in that day."

"You look distinguished."

"Are you flirting with me?" She teases. "How would your husband and children feel about that?"

"Tom would probably think it was kinky." B'Elanna laughs a little before her features soften. "How are you, Kathryn?"

"Dying." She returns easily. She tries to soften the blow with a smile when B'Elanna flinches. "I'm sorry. We're pretty used to being blunt about that sort of thing around here."

"Is there nothing that they can do?"

"I don't want them to do anything."

"Why not?"

"I'm old."

"Tuvok is still older than you." And she does a reasonable impression of a Vulcan raising her eyebrows to accompany the statement.

"Yes, I know."

"Miral wouldn't want her Godmother gone. I can't imagine Taya appreciating it either."

She sighs.

The mention of her Taya's name brings a pain to her chest that has nothing to do with her heart problems. She does not want to leave her loved ones any more than they want her gone.

"I know, but it's time." Blinking away tears, she turns the photo over to show her old friend. "Look what I found the other day."

"New Earth." B’Elanna’s response is instantaneous and it is not a question; she knows where this picture comes from.

B'Elanna stays for a while longer and they talk of the 'good old days' until the nurse ushers her out with a kind smile, promising that she can visit another day.

Visiting hour is over and she is alone once more.

Alone with her photo and her memory.

***

"Well I'll be damned."

Chakotay is beside her. "We did it."

"We did." Kathryn breaths out sharply. "I'll be damned."

A nudge to her side forces her to turn her body to face her grinning First Officer. "If I were you, I’d have a better opening phrase ready for Starfleet."

"I have a fairly good idea about the first image they should get of me after nine years out there."

He raises his eyebrows, still grinning at her. "And that would be?"

"This." She says, grabbing him by the cheeks and pulling his head down until his mouth meets hers.

Starfleet hails them immediately - no doubt surprised at their sudden exit from the wormhole - and they do indeed get the chance to be greeted by Voyager's Captain being held tightly by the lips and arms of her XO.

A photo of them is the lead story in the tabloids the next day but they don't care.

***

She holds that picture of their first kiss in her hand.

The words 'Ship Of Scandal!' are plastered across the bottom - obscuring the viewers glance form his hand on her behind, thankfully - but it doesn't taint the memory.

"Admiral?"

When she looks up, the nurse is standing at the entrance to her room. "Hello Julia."

"It's time for tea." A cart is wheeled in, the top shelf housing a portable replicator.

"Any chance of a coffee? Black?" She is hopeful but she knows the answer even before she sees the admonishing look on her nurse's face.

"The Doctor already answered that question, Admiral."

She smiles charmingly and is reminded of countless negotiations that came before the need to end her caffeine deprivation. "But you're so much nicer than the Doctor."

"I can see how you survived the Delta Quadrant." The nurse smiles as she replicates a cup and places it on the tray before her.

Peering over the edge, she looks into the cup and frowns. "That isn't coffee."

Julia grins. "And this isn't the Delta Quadrant."

***

"Let me take one."

"No."

"Just one."

Kathryn glares at him. "You said 'just one' on our wedding day too and I ended up posing for an hour, if you recall."

"And you love every photo that I took."

She couldn't argue with that, mores the pity. "You are not taking a picture of me without clothes on."

"But you're beautiful."

"Fat." She counters, grumpy.

"Pregnant."

"Bloated." And the lack of clothes that fit her any more attest to that fact.

"Glowing."

They've had this argument so many times now. "No."

"Kathryn." He blinks at her, pouting in the way that he knows she will fall for.

"Fine. One and not a single shot more."

Chakotay takes one photo.

And then another three when he thinks that she's not looking.

Kathryn lets him believe that for a few years before she bothers to correct him.

***

"Mom?"

She looks up from her study of the photo from when she was pregnant. She is sitting on their bed, wearing only her bra and panties, with her left arm resting across the top of her swollen belly and her right hand holding a cup of tea.

The memory of that day, of those nine months, is fresh in her mind as she looks to the doorway and smiles at her daughter.

"Taya."

"Sorry I'm late." Taya smiles, guilty; she got her fathers sense of timing.

"Nonsense, come in and sit with me."

Moving across the room, Taya sits on the bed by her hip. "What are you looking at?"

"I've been going through some old photos." She shows her the picture.

"Was this when you were pregnant with me?"

"No, this is when I was pregnant with Callum."

Taya is surprised, she can tell.

Callum, her sweet baby boy, hadn't lived for more than an hour.

They'd been devastated and she had refused to have any more children, but then just a few months later she had found out that she was pregnant again and she, they, couldn't bring themselves to terminate after they'd seen the 3D projection of their little girl.

They don't talk about it much, they never did.

Painful memories have no place in their lives.

"You looked so happy."

"I was." She smiles in memory and touches Taya's cheek. "I was even happier when I had you."

Taya blushes and looks away. "How are you, mom?"

"Dying." It's a standard answer and she doesn't expect it to change any time soon.

"I hope you don't plan on doing that tomorrow. Sarah wants to come and see her grandmother. She has news."

Her eyes light up.

It's been so long since someone has come to see her with good news. "What is it?"

"I can't tell you mom, she'll kill me."

She nods, understanding and she stares at her daughter for a few moments, studying her familiar features and searching for the answer.

"Not even a hint?"

***

"You can't seriously want a photo of me like this!"

Kathryn pats her hand. "Indulge your father, dear."

"Mom!" The high-pitched shrieking quality in her tone is pure Janeway.

Sigh. "Chakotay, leave your daughter alone."

"Just one!" He promises.

Her hands on her hips, Kathryn glares at him. "We've had this discussion far too many times, you know that, right?"

"And you know how I plan to win, right?" He moves closer, until their bodies are touching.

Taya coughs loudly. "Your granddaughter is two hours old; she's far too young to be witnessing where this is going."

Chakotay moves to the crib and strokes the baby’s cheek. Her skin is dark, closer to the colour of her mother but much lighter then his own. "Hello Sarah."

He sneaks a picture in while Kathryn discusses nursing with their daughter.

***

"Grandma."

She smiles, a brilliant smile reserved for her eldest grandchild. "Sarah."

"Mom said you were holding off your plans so I could visit."

"My plans for death?" She raises her eyebrow.

Sarah snorts a little; she got her sense of humour from her grandmother, she's been saying that for years. "Exactly."

She huffs her own amusement before she turns the photo in her hands over. "When you were born," she explains at the questioning look. "Now, come and sit. Tell me what this fantastic news is."

"I have another picture for your collection."

"You do?" Her collection is full of pictures that her husband took over the course of their lives together; no one has ever given her one before.

"I do." Sarah nods and passes the small holoimage to her.

"Is this?"

"Yes."

"How far...?"

"Three months."

"Is Jed...?"

"Ecstatic."

"Congratulations, my dear."

She runs her fingers over the tiny shape of her great-grandchild and smiles softly.

***

"There's nothing that we can do, Ma'am."

Kathryn clutches at the hand of Tuvok as he stands by her side, silently supporting her. The grip on his hand tightens with every word that leaves the Doctors mouth but he does not comment.

"What do you mean?"

"It was his time."

"His time?" She repeats. "He wasn't ready to die."

"I'm afraid that his heart said otherwise, ma'am."

"Mom?"

Kathryn turns and pulls her daughter to her, hugging her tightly. "He's gone." She whispers.

"I know."

"I'm not sure I want to live without him." Kathryn admits sadly.

"You have to." Taya pulls back and opens her purse. "He asked me to give you this when he went."

It's a photo of the three of them from one of the Voyager reunions.

They're all smiling, glasses of champagne in their hands as they face the camera, their arms a mess as they twine around each other.

Kathryn looks to the bed, blinking back tears at the sight of her husband lying so cold and still.

***

"Julia?"

"Yes, Admiral?"

"I think it's time now."

She hasn’t said goodbye to anyone, she doesn’t need to. Her husband once told her that his people don’t say goodbye, they merely say something that translates to ‘see you soon.’

Julia smiles softly as she pulls her blanket higher, covering her body with its warmth. "I understand."

"Will you make sure that Taya gets that box of pictures, please?" She keeps only one in her hand, the one from New Earth.

When she goes, it goes with her.

"Yes ma'am, I'll make sure of it personally."

"Thank you Julia."

"It was a pleasure, Admiral Janeway."

Kathryn closes her eyes for the last time.

***

End