|
~*+*~
Love will lead us, all right
Love will lead us
She will lead us
Live,
Dolphin's cry
~*+*~
Jack made a quick stop by Daniel's lab before leaving. He saw that
his friend had company
in the form of Janet Fraiser so he only stayed
long enough to tell him that he, Jonas and Teal'c needed to be at
Sam's
house by eight, for a team meeting.
Daniel looked slightly confused by the term `team' but agreed to show
up and
bring the others anyway.
As he was walking away, Jack heard Doctor Fraiser speak. "What do you
think that was all
about?" She asked.
"Don't know." Came the reply. "I guess I'll find out tonight."
He signed out of the base,
and the security guard at the front gate
told him that when he came back the following day, they would have a
security
pass ready for him.
Jack smiled his thanks at the nameless airman and drove home in
silence, his thoughts never
straying far from Sam.
"Help me out here Sam, where are you?" He whispered, completely lost.
~*+*~
I
keep trying to find my way
But all I know is
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without
you.
Delta Goodram, Lost Without you
~*+*~
Falling into bed, Jack figured that he had at least eight
hours
before he needed to get up to talk to his team. Until then, he was
going to catch up on the sleep that he had
missed the previous night.
*
You found hope
You found faith
Found how fast she could take it away
Found
true love
Lost your heart
Now you don't know who you are
You will fly and
You will crawl
God knows even
angel's fall
No such thing as you've lost it all
God knows even angel's fall
Jack found himself cursing whoever
chose that song. Despite the truth
of the lyrics, he could never understand why people chose songs like
that to play
at funerals.
He always liked to think that when he died, that they would play
music that he liked, songs that
reminded people what he'd liked, not
something with depressing appropriate lyrics. Led Zep and Meatloaf
blaring out
of the churches sound system probably wouldn't have gone
over very well though.
The church was nice enough…..not
that he had been in many churches
throughout his life. At the front was a large altar with dozens of
flowers surrounding
a blown up picture of SG-1, Sam's smiling face
shining back at them.
The funeral coordinator stepped up to the
podium to speak as soon as
the last chords of Jessica Riddle's song finished.
"Now, Samantha Carter's former Commanding
officer, Colonel Jack
O'Neill, will deliver a eulogy." He nodded at Jack and stepped down.
Jack slowly rose from
his seat, the front pew of the church, and
walked towards the podium. He looked down at the palm cards that
contained
his carefully thought out, and typed, eulogy. He'd thought
it was a good speech to deliver at her funeral, but a thought
came to
him.
`When I die,' She had said one night after a few beers, looking
closely at him. `If you give a
speech at my funeral, then I want you
to tell the truth as you saw it. Don't say what people would expect,
say what
you want.'
Well, he decided suddenly, he was going to do just that.
Turning the palm cards face down, he looked
up at the congregation in
the church, looking over the sea of faces, most crying, others with
tears in their eyes.
Some he recognized from the SGC-he wondered
briefly if there was anyone left guarding the mountain-some he
didn't.
He saw Sara sitting at the back of the church, offering her silent
support. They'd started talking a few months
earlier, ironically,
mostly thanks to Carter telling him that he should talk to his ex-
wife.
Taking a deep
breath, Jack moved closer to the microphone.
The words seemed to rush from his mouth. "Samantha Carter was…..the
most annoying person that I have ever met. She was too enthusiastic
for her own damn good and she had very selective
hearing when it came
to following orders. She was too intelligent for me to keep up with
and she had a brain the size
of a small country.
Carter liked anchovies on her pizza, need I say more? She was the
only person that I have
ever known who can go from listening to
Meatloaf, to Celine Dion, to Pat Benatar, to nameless heavy metal,
and she
could sing along to all of them. Anyone who had ever had to
share a locker room with her would know that Samantha Carter
couldn't
carry a tune in a bucket, but she didn't care.
Now, as well of being all of those things, Samantha Carter
was the
smartest, most caring and loving person that I have ever met. She
touched the lives of so many people, some
of whom couldn't be here"
Due to gray skin and oddly shaped bodies, Jack thought with a small
smile. "But every one
of you was touched by this amazing woman. And
she is someone that we all knew and loved, and will never forget."
He
stepped down from the podium, expecting the coordinator to retake
his place for the un-classified life history of Major
Samantha
Carter.
But instead, he saw Jacob stand up from his seat and clap, tears
evident in his eyes.
The
rest of the congregation rose and applauded as well, and Jack
could swear that he saw Samantha Carter standing at the
entrance of
the church, smiling.
*
Jack wasn't sure what woke him, but he was thankful that he didn't
have
to relive the memories of her funeral again.
"Jack!" That was Daniel. Shit, Jack thought, looking at the clock.
Damn
that man for always being on time.
Daniel banged on the door again, and Jack realized that was what had
woke him.
He
opened the door to see SG-1 standing there, looking at him
expectantly. "Sorry. I was asleep." He apologized.
"We
guessed." Daniel smiled. "Are you going to invite us in?"
Jack nodded and stepped back to allow them entrance. "Sorry
about the
mess guys, I haven't had a chance to clean up." He told them.
Daniel glanced to the breakfast bar, which
had dirty dishes stacked
on it. *Two* of every dish to be exact. Two wineglasses, with a few
drops of wine left in
them, two sets of knives and forks.
Either Jack had had visitors, or he was delusional.
"You wanted to see us?"
Daniel asked, sitting on the couch.
"I'm coming back to SG-1."
"I am most pleased to hear this news O'Neill."
Teal'c announced,
bowing his head slightly.
"What made you change your mind Colonel?" Jonas asked, looking at him
inquisitively.
"That's what I want to talk to you about."
Jack sat back in Sam's favorite recliner and
told them about
Hammond's decision-off the record, as it were- to let him go to the
address that Sam had left him,
providing that he was back in time to
return to Earth with the rest of SG-1.
"And are we coming with you to this
place?" Daniel asked.
Jack shook his head. "No. Just continue with the mission and I'll be
back before you have
to go home."
"I believe that it would be wise if we accompany you, should there be
any danger on this world." Teal'c
told him.
"I appreciate the offer Teal'c, but it's better if I go alone."
"Why?" It was *almost* nice to see
that Jonas was still asking so
many damn questions.
"Because it would be better if you weren't involved, in case
the
wrong people find out."
"We loved her as much as you did Jack, albeit not in the same way,
but you can't
forget that."
"I know you did Daniel, but you don't really believe me when I tell
you that I've been living with
Sam for the last eight months, do you?"
"Well, not exactly….."
"It's okay Daniel, I'm not mad. But at
least this way, you guys
aren't involved. And if she isn't there, then I told Hammond that I'd
accept the fact that
she's gone."
"What can we do to be of assistance?"
"Well, as long as everyone thinks that I was on the mission
with you,
then we all stay out of trouble."
"Colonel, why are you trying so hard to find her? I thought that she
died of heart problems."
"Because I know that she's alive. I can feel it."
"How?"
Damn Jonas and
all of his questions. "Because I haven't felt my heart
break yet."
~*+*~
If you're so tough
Come on and
prove it
Your heart is down for the count
And you know you're gonna loose it
Jesse James, Cher
~*+*~
Jack
stared at the DHD, suddenly nervous as to what he might find on
the other side of the wormhole that had just engaged.
"You
sure you don't want us to go with you?" Daniel asked.
"I'm sure." He replied, stepping up the few steps to the
wormhole.
"Be careful Daniel, all of you. Don't touch anything!"
"We wont." Daniel and Jonas-the accident-prone members of his
team-
chorused.
"I wish you well on your journey O'Neill."
"Thanks Teal'c, I'll see you in two days time."
He nodded and stepped
through the wormhole.
Emerging on the other side, Jack immediately dropped to his knees,
aimed his Zat and surveyed the room that he had stepped into.
The room was white all over, and he could see three
doors leading off
it. Trying to think, Jack settled for the first door and headed down
a long corridor.
There
were several rooms leading off the corridor, and whoever built
this place obviously didn't know what a door was…..or
they were too
arrogant to think they'd need one.
Jack was reminded slightly of the Tok'ra and he couldn't help
but
smile.
Checking each room, he saw a lot of medical equipment, with a few
scary looking objects-maybe there
*was* such a thing as an anal
probe?-, but nothing that he could figure out. There was no one
around, it was like
whoever owned this place had just…..vanished.
Assuming, of course, that people inhabited this place to begin
with.
Jack closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds, and when he opened
them, he was strapped to a bed in an
upright position, and there were
several human like…..people staring at him.
They were dressed in long white
robes, almost blending into the white
walls. They all looked somehow the same and yet different.
"I told you that
he would come."
"She was wise to choose him."
"He is brave."
"He knows much pain."
"He loves a
woman that he cannot have."
All of their voices assaulted him at once, and Jack struggled to work
out which voice
came from which alien. But no matter how hard he
tried, he couldn't figure it out.
Then he realised that while
their voices continued to speak, none of
the five aliens had moved their…..lips.
"Who are you people?" He
asked.
"We are who we are."
Jack really hated cryptic people. "Do you know why I'm here?"
"A man takes
many journey's, few understand his choices."
Okay, Jack hated people who spoke in riddles even more. "My name is
Jack
O'Neill, and I'm looking for someone."
"A man searches for many people throughout his life, you're search is
only
just beginning."
"No, you don't understand….."
"We do."
"Do you know of the woman I'm looking for?
Her name is Samantha
Carter. And she's blonde….."
"Your words mean nothing to us, Jack O'Neill."
"But…..can
you hear my thoughts? See what I see in my mind?"
"We can." One of the aliens nodded, though he wasn't sure that it
was
that alien that had…..spoken.
Jack concentrated and thought of Sam, bringing her image to mind.
"This
is who you seek?"
"Yes."
"We are confident that you shall find her again."
"Where is she?"
There
was no reply, and Jack closed his eyes and sighed.
When he opened them again, he was back on the planet that SG-1
was
on, and they were all looking at him strangely.
"Having second thoughts about going?" Daniel asked.
"I've
already been." Jack replied, confused.
"Jack, you only just dialed the `Gate…..are you okay?"
He looked
around, and then checked his watch.
Yes, Daniel was right, he should have only just dialed the Stargate,
but he
remembered going through, down the first corridor and then
talking to the cryptic, riddle-obsessed aliens. "Fine." He
nodded.
"You sure you don't want us to go with you?" Daniel asked.
De Ja vu, Jack thought, but stayed silent.
"I'm sure." He replied,
stepping up the few steps to the wormhole. "Be careful Daniel, all of
you. Don't touch anything!"
"We
wont." Daniel and Jonas chorused.
"I wish you well on your journey O'Neill."
"Thanks Teal'c, I'll see you in
two days time." He nodded and stepped
through the wormhole.
Emerging on the other side, Jack immediately dropped
to his knees and
aimed his Zat and surveyed the room that he had stepped into.
The room was white all over, and
he could see three doors leading off
it. Trying to think, Jack remembered choosing the first corridor last
time, so
he settled for the second door and headed down a long
corridor.
Hoping that he hadn't imagined everything that
he thought had just
transpired, Jack was almost relieved when he spotted one of the
aliens working in one of the rooms.
Steeping
carefully, Jack walked passed the doorway and kept walking,
looking in each room as he passed. Some of the rooms were
empty, but
most of them had one or two of the aliens in them, working with the
nasty looking devices that Jack had
seen before.
He managed to get to the end of the corridor when he was spotted.
"He is searching for someone."
"I
told you that he would come."
"She was wise to choose him."
"He is brave."
"He knows much pain."
"He
loves a woman that he cannot have."
Jack groaned. They were the same voices and same words that he'd
heard before.
"Okay, I'm looking for my friend, have you seen her?" He asked,
bringing up the mental picture of Sam again.
"Do
you think he will find her?" One of the voices asked.
"The question is, does she wish to be found?" Another countered.
"Yes!
Yes she does want to be found and that's why I'm here!" Jack
cried, frustrated.
"How do you know this?"
"Because
she told me! Now, do you know where she is or not?"
"We know many things."
"Oh for crying out loud!"
"We
are unfamiliar with that statement."
"Of course you are…..do you know where she is or not?" He repeated,
exasperated.
"We
do."
Finally! Jack almost smiled in triumph, now he was getting
somewhere. "So, where is she?"
"We know
many things."
Jack closed his eyes and sighed, and realized his mistake
instantaneously. Opening one eye, he saw
that he was back in front of
Daniel and the rest of SG-1 yet again.
This is getting old very fast, Jack thought
to himself. The third
corridor, it had to be the third one. He'd tried the other two, so it
had to be the third.
Logically,
it was a process of elimination.
He could do that.
"You sure you don't want us to go with you?" Daniel asked.
"I'm
sure." He replied, checking his watch again before stepping up
the few steps to the wormhole. "Be careful Daniel, all
of you. Don't
touch anything!"
"We wont." Daniel and Jonas chorused.
"I wish you well on your journey O'Neill."
"Thanks
Teal'c, I'll see you in two days time." He nodded and stepped
through the wormhole.
Not even bothering to check
the immediate area this time, Jack walked
down the third corridor and noticed that there were several
observation
window's but no obvious access to the rooms behind them.
Jack could see what looked like children being nursed by the
aliens
through the window.
There were various races, and Jack was sure that one of them was a
Nox, and if
he didn't know how the Asguard *really* reproduced, then
he would have thought one of them was Thor's kid.
The
voice came again, just as he had expected.
"He is searching for someone."
"Most would have stopped looking."
"I
told you that he would come."
"She was wise to choose him."
"He is brave."
"He knows much pain."
"He
loves a woman that he cannot have."
"Okay, we've done this dance before. You know who I'm looking for,
and you
know where she is, now do you think you could be so kind as
to point me in the right direction?"
"There are many
directions in the journey of a man's life….."
"Look, cut the crap!" Jack snapped. "Just tell me where she is
so I
can get her and get the hell out of this place."
"You search is nearly over Jack O'Neill."
"Let me
guess, patients is a virtue?" Where was Daniel when he needed
him? Now that boy could talk in riddles.
"You are
correct."
"How long will my search continue for?" Jack asked, beginning to
understand their way of talking.
"Time
is of no value to us."
"Right…..do you think that my search will end soon?" Jack winced at
his own flaky
tone.
"You journey is almost at it's end."
"So if I close my eyes, what will happen?"
"You will have
lost sight."
Okay. Good point there. "Who are you?"
"We are many things Jack O'Neill." They replied and Jack
felt his
eyes close against his will.
"You sure you don't want us to go with you?" Daniel asked.
Jack opened
his eyes to find he was back where he had started, just
as he'd anticipated. "I'm sure." He replied, checking his watch
again
before stepping up the few steps to the wormhole. "Be careful Daniel,
all of you. Don't touch anything!"
"We
wont." Daniel and Jonas chorused.
"I wish you well on your journey O'Neill."
"Thanks Teal'c, I'll see you in
two days time." He nodded and stepped
through the wormhole.
Jack looked around the room again. He had tried all
three corridors
and thus far seen no sign of Sam.
There had to be another answer.
Something he was missing.
Scanning
the walls with his eyes, Jack found himself wishing that
he'd taken Daniel up on his offer to come with. At least maybe
then
he would have had a hope in seeing something more than the obvious
three doors.
"He is searching for someone."
"Most
would have stopped looking."
"His search is almost over."
"I told you that he would come."
"She was wise
to choose him."
"He is brave."
"And wise."
"He knows much pain."
"He loves a woman that he cannot
have."
The voices were there, but he couldn't see anyone. Jack turned around
in a circle, and saw a faint black
line behind the Stargate.
Bingo!
He walked over to the outline of a door that wasn't there and
outstretched
his hand cautiously. Where it should have met a solid
wall, he felt his hand pass through.
Taking a deep breath-Jack
was tempted to close his eyes, but that
hadn't done him much good today-he took a few steps forward and
passed through
the wall and was immediately on the other side.
There were no corridors-which he was thankful for, considering the
fact that he hadn't had much luck with them either-but there were
several curtains dividing the room up into small
sections.
At least, Jack assumed that they were curtains.
He wasn't real big on fabric at the best of times.
Walking
as close to the outside of the rooms as he could, Jack saw
what was behind the `curtains'.
Women.
Hundreds
of them.
They were all either heavily pregnant, or they had tubes coming out
of their stomach's. Jack felt a sympathy
phantom pain in his own
stomach.
Those tubes looked damn painful.
All of the women were dressed in long
white skirts, and white tops
that covered their breasts, neck and arms, while still leaving their
stomachs bare.
Walking
past several different women-and some that were alien, so he
was just *assuming* that they were women-he saw a flash of
blonde
hair on the other side of the room.
Ignoring the fact that every alien in this place could probably see-
or
hear- him, Jack sprinted to the other side of the room and saw her.
His Sam.
She had a tube coming out of her
stomach like the other women, she
had a few electrode type devices on her forehead and she was pale,
but as he placed
his finger on her neck and he felt a flutter beneath
his fingertips he realized with joy that she was alive.
"Sam,
wake up." He whispered urgently.
Nothing.
"Sam?" He tried again, a little louder.
Nothing.
"Carter!"
He yelled and her eyes bolted open.
She looked at him with a blank stare.
"Carter?"
Nothing.
"Do
you know who I am?"
She blinked.
Once.
Well, that was something.
He had no idea what kind of damage
it would do to her, but he pulled
off the electrodes and went to remove the tube from her stomach but a
voice stopped
him.
"Removing that would be unwise."
"How do I get her out of here then?"
"She cannot leave this place."
"Why
the hell not?" He demanded, angry. Thus far he thought that he'd
been pretty nice to these…..people, considering
the fact that he
wasn't really sure which side they were on.
"There are many reasons."
Jack clenched his
teeth in frustration. "Well, give me one good one
or I'm pulling this tube out now."
"She will die."
Jack
took a deep breath. "Okay, that's a good one."
"There are options."
"Like?"
"In exchange for your friend,
you could offer us a gift."
"Take me."
"Unacceptable."
Jack saw that one coming. "Then what can I offer
you?"
"Her Lor'Tal."
He shook his head, confused. "I don't know what that is."
The aliens seemed to silently
confer with each other for a moment
before one of them came forward and pointed to Sam's
stomach. "Lor'Tal." He-or,
probably more accurately, it- repeated.
Even Jack didn't miss the implications of that one.
"Her baby? Sam's
having a baby, like all of the other women here?"
"We are unfamiliar with that term."
"Ah….." Damn. He
*really* wished Daniel was here. "A new life, one
that's created and grows inside of her."
"That is a correct definition."
"And
you want me to give you Sam's?"
"Correct."
"No."
"Then she shall die." Suddenly, he was beginning to
think that these
aliens were on the dark side.
Jack ignored them and pulled the first aid kit out of his pack.
Holding a few gauze's on her stomach he grasped the tube firmly, her
eyes watching him, unseen.
"I'm sorry
about this Sam." He whispered and pulled the tube out,
holding the gauze to stop any bleeding which could occur-which
surprisingly, didn't-.
"You are being unwise."
Jack ignored the alien and looked at the woman on the bed.
"Don't you
dare die on me Samantha Carter." He told her firmly.
Then he picked her up and ran.
~*+*~
I
might have been in love before,
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know,
They'll take
us where we want to go
Hold me now,
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you.
Nothing's gonna change
my love for you, (The Artists name eludes me
at present.)
~*+*~
"Don't die, don't die." He repeated it like
a mantra to her, hoping
that he'd reach her, despite the trance like state she was in.
He didn't want to, but Jack
had to put her down on the ground to dial
the coordinates to P4N 629.
As he was punching in the symbols, Jack though
it a little odd that
while the aliens had verbally protested to losing one of their
prisoners, they hadn't physically
tried to stop him.
Not that he was complaining.
The Stargate engaged, and the event horizon shot out and missed
Sam
by a few inches before folding back in on itself.
He picked her up and noticed for the first time how light
she felt.
Determined to keep his eyes open-he didn't want to go back in time
again- Jack watched the dancing ripples
of the active wormhole, and
stepped through.
His teammates were hiding, but he could barely see the outline of
Teal'c's staff weapon. "It's me." He called, and they all came
towards him.
"Jack?" Daniel asked, watching
with wide eyes as his friend laid Sam
down on the ground.
"It's her." He replied to the unspoken question.
Daniel
was only slightly surprised that there hadn't been any `I told
you So's' but he figured that they'd come later.
Pulling
the gauze away from her stomach, Jack noticed that the wound
that should have been present from the tube wasn't there.
"But
I thought…..?" Daniel did a good impression of a gold fish, Jack
decided.
"Everybody thought so Daniel."
Jack replied.
"You didn't."
"No." Jack agreed. "I didn't think she was dead."
~*+*~
Now I believe
there comes a time
When everything just falls in line
We live and learn from our mistakes
The deepest cuts are held
by fate.
Pat Benatar, All fired up
~*+*~
The `Gate room had fallen silent when SG-1 had returned three
days
early from their mission.
When the Stargate had engaged, and their iris code had been received,
everyone
had held their breath, expecting a battered and bruised team
to be returning. All of the occupants of the room had been
shocked
into silence when they'd seen Jonas Quinn, Daniel Jackson and Teal'c
all return safely.
SG teams didn't
return early unless something was wrong.
The three members of SG-1 had walked to the end of the ramp and
ignored
the General, turning to face the Stargate.
Then Jack O'Neill had stepped through with Samantha Carter in his
arms.
At
first, several members of the SGC had naturally assumed that they
were hallucinating. They'd all been there, all seen
her being lowered
slowly into the ground next to the Colonel's deceased son. They'd all
heard the eulogy that O'Neill
had given, and they'd all grieved for
her.
Yet there she was.
"Sir? Permission to take Major Carter to the
infirmary before we de-
brief?" Jack asked, ignoring the stunned expressions that met him.
Hammond nodded, hiding
his smile. "Granted Colonel."
Jack nodded and smiled his thanks, before leaving the Gate room and
heading towards
the infirmary. Whenever he, or the rest of his team
that were mere paces behind him, passed any of the personal in the
mountain, they were met with opened mouths.
Janet had been shocked most of all.
Nine months ago, her best
friend had died, and now, she was being
carried into her infirmary.
"What the hell?"
"I don't know what's
wrong with her, but she's non-responsive." Jack
told her, laying the woman in his arms onto the closest gurney.
"But
she's….."
"Apparently not." Daniel replied.
"How…..?"
"I don't know." Jack shrugged. "But
can we talk about it after you
tell us that she's fine?"
Janet nodded, not really trusting her voice, and began
to examine her
not-so-dead best friend.
Standing back from the Doctor while she worked, Jack told his friend
about
how he found Sam and the condition she'd been in when he'd
reached her, including the electrodes on her forehead and the
tube in
her stomach.
He waited until the assisting nurse had left before he mentioned the
Lor'Tal.
"I'll
do a blood test to confirm or deny." Janet nodded as General
Hammond entered the infirmary, ready to de-brief.
"Call
me when you know something?" Jack asked, reluctant to leave.
"You know I will." Janet replied.
Jack nodded and
followed the rest of his team to the briefing room.
Sitting down, he couldn't help but match the grin that was plastered
on Hammond's features. "Well done Colonel."
He nodded. "Thank you sir."
"Can you tell me about how you found
her?"
Jack relayed the story and watched with curiosity as his team shook
their heads in confusion as he told them
that he'd been sent back
through the Stargate and –apparently- back through time to them.
"Jack, you left
and then came back with Sam an hour later. We said
goodbye and then didn't see you again until you had her."
"I
guessed that Daniel, but I know what happened."
Daniel nodded and Jack finished his tale.
"Do you have any idea
what's wrong with her?" Hammond asked.
"No sir. Sam was like that when I found her. The best sign of life
that
I've seen from her was blinking."
No one in the room missed the fact that he had called her Sam.
"Why don't
you go and get cleaned up and then head back to the
infirmary? I'll contact Jacob and let him know about this
development."
SG-1 nodded and left the room.
~*+*~
He'd given up over eight years ago.
The last time that Jack
O'Neill had had a cigarette anywhere near the
vicinity of his mouth had been when he was on Abydos for the first
time.
He'd given Skarra his best lighter, which was reason enough to
give the habit up.
Sitting on the top of the mountain,
he took a long drag of the smoke
and inhaled deeply, pleased to feel the familiar burn down the back
of his throat.
"I
hope you aren't going to take that up again." Janet commented as
she dropped down onto the grass next to him.
"No,
just a little something to calm the nerves." He replied.
"Well, in that case….." She reached over and took the
cigarette from
his hands and took a long drag herself before handing it back to him.
"Didn't know you smoked."
He commented.
She shrugged. "Don't. But I think we could all use something right
about now, and drinking while
on duty is frowned upon, this is the
next best thing."
They shared the last of the cigarette between them and
Jack stubbed
it out with his boot before either spoke again.
"How is she?"
Janet looked at her friend and
mentally decided that he could use
about three days of sleep. "I can honestly say that I don't know."
"Catatonic?"
"I
don't know. Her pupils respond to light, even if she doesn't. She
blinks at a normal rate, but she wont react to anything
we try."
Janet's shoulders visibly sunk.
"What about Cassie?"
"What?"
Jack scratched his neck. "After
Jolinar, she was like this, and
Cassie got her out of it, maybe it would work again."
Janet frowned. "I don't think
so Jack."
Now he knew it was bad, Janet never *ever* called him Jack. Not even
off-duty. She was worse than Carter
with the `sir' thing.
"What do we do?"
"Talk to her."
"That's it?"
"I'm afraid so. I don't think
the aliens did any damage to her, but I
won't know for sure until we get the blood work back. Until
then…..all
we can do is talk to her, try and bring her out of
this…..state."
Jack didn't know how much he, or any of
them, could take.
~*+*~
In my life,
There's been heartache and pain
And I don't know,
If I can face
it again
Foreigner, I want to know what love is
~*+*~
Tentatively, Jack sat down in the seat by the head
of her bed. He had
never been very good at this kind of stuff, and he wasn't getting any
better, despite the fact
that she'd been there for six days.
Janet had gotten the results of Sam's blood work five days earlier,
and it
had confirmed that Sam was pregnant, but other than that
everything was normal.
Which frustrated the hell out of
all of them.
Jacob Carter had come and sat by her side for hours, having a one-
sided conversation with her before
he had to return to the Tok'ra.
None of them could get her out of the state which Jack had found her
in.
"Hey
Carter," He smiled.
He felt kind of stupid calling her Carter after eight months of
intimacy with her, but he
was beginning to have his doubts as to
whether or not she'd remember any of that.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"Fine."
She replied.
Jack almost fell off his chair.
She talked!
Or was he dreaming?
"Carter?" He asked.
"Yes?"
Came the reply.
Okay, so not dreaming.
"I think I should get Janet." He said, more to himself than to her.
"No…..stay
and talk to me for a while."
"Carter……you're, like, talking and stuff." She was talking, even
though
she hadn't moved and her eyes remained unseeing, this was a
step in the right direction.
"I know."
"Where
you been?"
"In my head." She replied, assuming that it explained everything.
"Why?"
"I didn't know if
everything that happened over the last week was
real or not." She shrugged a little, but it was enough.
"So you've
been hidin' out?"
"Yes."
"What made you decide that this was real?"
"Nothing, but I figured that I might
as well enjoy the hallucination
while it lasted."
"You're not hallucinating." He assured her, unable to keep from
smiling.
"Hallucinations always say that." She accused.
"Can't argue with that."
He got up and called
for Janet, waiting for the doctor to
come. "What's wrong Colonel?"
"Nothing, look who's awake." He grinned.
Her
eyes flew open in shock. "Sam!"
"Yes?"
"Are you in any pain?" Her relief was pushed aside as she reverted
into
what Jack had affectionately named `Doctor mode.'
"No."
"I'm going to let the General know that you're awake."
"Okay."
"Want
to tell me what happened?" Jack asked, taking up his previous
position in the chair.
"I'm not sure really…..one
minute I was getting ready to leave for
work, then next I was sitting in my car talking to you. Telling you
to handle
her properly."
"I thought all of that was in my head." He admitted, not missing the
fact that she had called the
Volvo a `her.'
"It wasn't."
"So what have you been doing for the last eight months?" He asked,
worried about
how much she remembered and how much was real.
"The same thing you have."
"So I wasn't going nuts."
"No."
"You
were really there?"
"Yes."
"And we really……?" He gestured blindly in the direction of her
stomach.
"Yes."
"Oh."
"The
aliens, they're called the Horitar, and they are studying the
different types of races throughout the galaxy. They want
to create a
race with the best qualities of each culture they encounter."
"How do they do that?" He asked, noticing
SG-1 and Hammond standing
behind the bed, listening to her explanation.
"They go to all different types of planets
and find a female from
each race, and take her. But they replicate the women and they kill
that body, usually with
all the evidence of whatever illness is
common on that planet. As you know, they used heart disease for me.
Then they
take the woman back to their home planet, where you found
me."
"How do they get the best quality of each race?"
Sam
licked her lips. "The Horitar send the women back to their
planet, but only one inhabitant can see them. When I got there,
I was
told to pick someone from Earth that would be able to see me. They
wanted a male. I didn't know what for, so
I picked you and they sent
me back. Then I was in my car and we were driving towards the cliff
top."
"I knew
I wasn't nuts." He grinned and she smiled.
"I still don't know why they let me come back if they were just going
to
experiment on me, but we were told that if we said anything to our
chosen person about where we were and what was really
happening to us
that they would kill us."
"That's why you didn't answer when I asked you what had happened to
you."
Jack concluded.
"Yes. You guys can come in, you know." Sam called.
The rest of SG-1 and Hammond came to stand
behind Jack. Waiting for
her to finish telling her story.
"How are you feeling Sam?" Daniel asked.
"I'm
okay."
"I am pleased to see you well Major Carter."
"Thank you Teal'c."
"Good to see you Sam."
"You
too Jonas." She smiled.
"I'm glad you're okay too Major, would you mind continuing?"
"Certainly sir. So, they
let me stay with you. I didn't know why, and
I didn't know how long we'd have, but there never seemed to be any
sign
of them, so I thought maybe they'd let me haunt you forever."
Jack looked at the other occupants of the room. "I told
you guys that
I wasn't delusional."
"Shut up Jack." Sam smiled. "About a week before I left, I felt
something
change."
"What changed?" Janet asked.
Sam chewed her bottom lip and glanced at Jack. "Um….."
"It's
okay." Jack nodded, having already figured it out. He reached
over and grasped her hand in silent support.
"I realized
that I was pregnant. And I thought that they would take
me back to terminate the pregnancy, but after a week they didn't.
So
I took a guess and thought that maybe getting me pregnant was what
they had wanted all along. Then I got a visit
from the leader of the
group and he told me that my time was up. I wrote Jack that note and
then they came for me."
"That
was when you disappeared from the cliff top."
"Yes." She nodded, feeling the strength of her limbs slowly coming
back
she squeezed Jack's hand. "I just closed my eyes and then when I
opened them I was back on their planet, and I had a tube
coming out
of my stomach. It was to monitor the progress of the baby, make sure
that it developed properly."
"Like
an ultrasound?" Janet asked.
Sam nodded. "Yes. But a permanent one."
"Did it hurt?" Jack asked.
She shrugged.
"Not really, I didn't feel anything the whole time I
was gone, except for when we….." She trailed off, and everyone
understood what she meant.
Jack leaned over to her. "My ego just skyrocketed, you know that,
right?"
Sam
smiled at him and continued with her story. "Apparently, once the
women give birth, the Horitar make sure that the child
has the
quality that they were looking for, and then they get rid of the
mother."
"What do they do with all
of those women once they've given birth and
they know that the child has the property that they're looking for?"
Jonas
asked.
"They put them back in their own body." Sam shuddered. "And they kill
them, so no one except for that woman's
chosen one, knows that they
weren't dead."
Hammond looked down at his second in command. "Good thing you got her
out of there Colonel."
"Yes sir." Both Sam and Jack agreed in unison.
~*+*~
Baby I must have said
a little prayer
Suddenly I looked up and you were there
And the rest is history
Celine Dion, Rain, tax
~*+*~
"You
want me to do *what*?" Had been her first reaction.
Janet fixed her friend with the best I'm-the-doctor-and-I-know-what's-
best
stare, but it didn't seem to take effect.
"Sam…..I really think it would be best if you talk about this."
Sam
shook her head defiantly. "Talk, yes. Mackenzie, no."
"You have to talk to *someone!*"
"Why don't you volunteer
then?" Sam asked, folding her arms across
her chest.
"Because….some of the things that you need to talk about
are a breach
of the regulations and I don't want to have to be a witness against
you if the Air Force court marshals
you and the Colonel for…..doing
what you two did." Janet explained diplomatically.
"Janet I was *dead*" At
least she didn't seem to have a problem
saying it anymore, Janet thought gratefully. "They can't put us on
trial for
something we did while I was legally *dead*"
"Let's hope not." Janet sighed. "Look, Sam, I really think that this
would
be for the best."
She blew out a long breath, Sam hated it when she was wrong. "Fine.
If it'll make everyone happy
then I'll go and see Mackenzie."
Janet smiled triumphantly. "Good. Since you like the idea so much,"
And if *that*
wouldn't earn her a glare, then the good doctor didn't
know what would. "Why don't I get you a wheelchair and we can go
now?"
"We can go, but I don't need a wheelchair."
"Yes, I say you do."
Sam protested the whole way but
it fell on deaf ears. Janet continued
to wheel her down the corridor, ignoring all of the curses coming
from her friend's
mouth about being treated like an `invalid.'
"I can walk you know." Sam snapped, as they neared Mackenzie's office.
"Not
for the next two weeks you can't." Janet replied sweetly.
"Let's just get this over and done with, shall we?"
~*+*~
Sam
fiddled nervously with her hands.
Janet knew that she didn't want to be here. Yet her soon-to-be ex-
best friend
still abandoned her in the doctors office.
It wasn't like she could wheel herself anywhere one-handed. She may
be
talented, but she wasn't *that* talented. To add insult to injury,
every time she moved her right-and dominant-hand, the
stupid drip
beeped a high wining noise at her.
This just wasn't fair.
"Major?" Doctor Mackenzie asked, looking
at her intently.
"Yes?"
"Do you know why you've been sent to see me?"
He had his pen poised over the
notepad on his desk, ready to write
down, probably verbatim, whatever she had to say about
her `experience.' His pen
wasn't moving yet, he was probably waiting
for her to say something profound.
That just made her more nervous.
"Doctor
Fraiser thought that it would be a good idea."
"You didn't want to come?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I
just didn't."
"That's not an explanation."
"It is to me."
"Major…..if you don't want to be here,
then you don't have to be. My
sessions weren't forced upon you, they were simply recommended."
"*Strongly* recommended."
He
frowned, and little wrinkles appeared around his mouth. "Fine,
strongly recommended then. But you can still walk out of
here anytime
you want."
"I'm in a wheelchair."
Mackenzie sighed. "Does that bother you?"
"Should
it?"
"You had the ability to walk taken away from you, doesn't that effect
you at all?"
"Of course it does.
But I can walk, it's just that this thing," She
flicked the drip in her arm. "Would make it a bit hard at the moment."
"Would
you like me to have Doctor Fraiser come and collect you?"
"You'd let me leave?"
"If that's what you want."
"But
then you wouldn't declare me mentally fit for working in the SGC
again, would you?"
"No."
Sam nodded, she
should have seen that one coming.
"Then let's talk."
"Where would you like to start Major?"
Sam folded
her arms as best as she could without moving the
drip. "You're the doctor, you tell me."
"Okay. Let's start with
something easy. How do you feel at the
moment?" He asked, jotting down the question.
"Hungry?"
Looking up
from his notepad, Mackenzie quirked an eyebrow at her. "Do
you want something to eat?"
"Pickles in tomato sauce
and a side order of sushi would go down well
at the moment."
"Are you kidding?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding?"
Mackenzie
put his pen down for a moment. "Is this something that you
eat regularly or as a result of the pregnancy?"
Somehow
Sam had known that her pregnancy would come into this
conversation sooner or later. "Subtle."
"It was just a question."
"Considering
that I don't eat fish at the best of times, let alone
raw, I'd say that it was more than likely a craving."
"How
do you feel about that?"
Sam had to wonder if every doctor in the world was obsessed with
feelings and talking
about them or if it was just him?
"How do I feel about the fact that I suddenly want to eat raw fish
wrapped in
seaweed and rice? Revolted."
He gave her what could only be described as a `look.' "I was
referring to your pregnancy."
"I
know."
"How do you feel about that?"
"Being pregnant? There isn't a lot that I can do about it, really."
"You
could terminate it."
Sam's mouth hung slack at the thought. "You mean have an abortion?"
Mackenzie shrugged.
"It's just an option."
"No it isn't. It's a horrible thing to do. This baby didn't ask to be
conceived, and I won't
kill it because I don't like the circumstances
of the conception!" She shouted.
The doctor tried desperately to
hide a smile.
"You baited me." She accused, pointing a finger at him. "That was a
set up, wasn't it?"
"Not
a set up as such, it was simply a way of getting you to face
some of the emotions that you seem so bent on ignoring."
She
had to admit, he was very good at it.
"And I fell for it." Sam mumbled, looking down at her
stomach. "Happy." She
told him.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean."
"I'm happy about the pregnancy."
"Why?"
"Why?"
She repeated, incredulous.
"I want to know why you are happy about the pregnancy."
"Because at least knowing
that I'm pregnant means knowing that I'm
alive, and that my heart is still beating. Knowing what happened to
me doesn't
hurt so much when I look at my stomach."
~*+*~
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks
when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So I hold my breath…..to forget
Shania Twain, It
only hurts. (When I'm breathing)
~*+*~
Jonas opened the door to Colonel O'Neill's office, only to find the
man
asleep at his desk with his feet perched up on a pile of
paperwork.
He quietly stepped out of the office and closed
the door, then
proceeded to knock loudly until he heard a rather gruff `Come in'
being called.
"Colonel?" He
asked as he peered round the door.
"Come in Jonas, what can I do for you?"
"Sam wanted to see you, she asked
if I'd let you know."
"Everything alright?"
Jonas shrugged a little. "I think so…..she didn't really say.
Just
that she wanted to see you."
"Thank you Jonas." Jack replied, standing up and heading to the
infirmary.
He'd
been expecting Sam to ask for him for a while now. Two days ago,
when she had told them all about the Horitar, had been
the last time
that he'd seen her. Jack didn't think that he was avoiding her per
se, more like trying to give her
some time to process everything that
had happened.
Which was probably exactly what she needed, given the fact that
he
had a headache from thinking too much.
The infirmary was unusually quiet, not that he was complaining.
Walking
past the few other patients, Jack found himself staring at
the curtain that separated himself and Sam.
De Je Vu,
he thought wryly to himself.
"Jack?"
"Hey." He smiled, coming to sit by her bed.
She looked well, he
realized.
The sheets no longer had more colour in them than she did, and she
was sitting up in the bed, which
had to be a good thing. There was
still a drip in her arm, and a heart monitor attached to her, but
other than that
you wouldn't know by looking at her what had gone on
in the previous months.
"How are you?"
"I should be
asking you that."
"I'm…..fine." She smiled, but it was obviously forced.
Jack raised an eyebrow at her.
"Really?"
"I had my first session with Mackenzie today. `Nother one tomorrow."
"How'd it go?"
"He and
I talked about the baby, played a few word games, I yelled,
he looked smug, pretty much what I'd expected from a session
with
him."
Jack couldn't help but chuckle quietly at that one. "Sounds about
right."
"About the baby…..Jack,
do you want it?"
There.
She'd said it.
Much as it annoyed her, Mackenzie had guessed that she was worried
about Jack's reaction to the baby. He'd encouraged her to talk to
him, and then Jack, about it and get everything
off her chest.
She'd laughed in his face.
"Does it matter what I want?"
"Yes, of course it does!"
"It's
your child….."
Sam fixed him a steady glare. "*Our* child Jack, don't forget that
you played a part in her
conception as well."
"But it's your body." He protested.
"Get out."
"What?"
"Get out…..you
aren't the same man that I spent the last eight months
with. Maybe it was all a hallucination, because nobody has such
a
drastic personality change like you have that quickly. Get out."
Jack left before she resorted to throwing things
at him.
~*+*~
I will never forget those nights
I wonder if it was a dream.
Remember how I made you crazy?
Remember
how you made me scream?
Now I don't understand, what happened to our love?
DJ Sammy, Boys of summer.
~*+*~
Teal'c
studied the man next to him carefully.
To the Jaffa, Daniel Jackson looked completely in control of his
faculties,
and yet, here he was, making what could only be described
as a tactical mistake. One that could become fatal, considering
who
they were dealing with.
"I do not believe that this is a wise course of action Daniel
Jackson."
"We
have to do something!" Daniel exclaimed, exasperated. He knocked
lightly on Jack's door and entered without waiting for
an answer.
"Yes Daniel, please feel free to come in without invitation." Jack
snapped.
As always, Daniel
remained oblivious to the sarcasm. "Thanks, I will."
"What do you want?"
"To talk."
"Talk." Jack repeated
with a surreptitious roll of his eyes. "About?"
"You." Daniel replied without missing a beat. "And Sam."
"So…..start
talking."
"Jack, why don't you go and see her?"
The colonel sighed deeply and flopped back into his chair. "Because
she doesn't want to see me and I have a lot of paperwork to do. So if
you don't mind getting to the point…..?"
"Jack,
she does want to see you."
"That's not quite the way she worded it when I last saw her, Daniel.
She threw me out
remember? I may be dense, but I can take the hint
occasionally."
"Do you know what today is?" Daniel asked suddenly.
Jack
blinked. Way to change the topic Space Monkey! "Ah…..July twenty
first, I think, why?"
"I thought Janet told
him?" Daniel asked, shooting a confused glance
at Teal'c, who had remained silent in the corner.
"It appears that
it is not the case."
"What is not the case?" Jack asked, looking confused, back and forth
between the two men.
Hell, if they'd brought Jonas along than this could have been an
convention!
"Major Carter was scheduled
to have an ultrasound today. She had
hoped that you would be present to witness the event." Teal'c
informed him.
"No
one told me." He replied, his face unreadable. "She didn't tell
me."
"You haven't exactly been around her a lot
in the last month, when
would she have been able to tell you?"
Jack gave Daniel pointed look. "Is there something
wrong with the
phones in the infirmary now?"
"Jack….." Daniel warned.
"Forget it Daniel, just forget
it."
Daniel sighed, defeated, and left the room.
"I believe that Major Carter would have wished for you to have
this,
O'Neill." Teal'c told his friend, leaving a copy of Sam's ultrasound
video on his desk before following Daniel
out of the room.
Jack sighed deeply.
Quite frankly, he was bored. SG-1 had been put on stand-down for an
unspecified
period of time, so that they could all be close to Sam
while she recovered. Then again, Hammond had assumed that she'd
want
the other four members of SG-1 around her during the pregnancy.
Well, maybe she did want them, but that didn't
include him. She had
made that perfectly clear the previous month, and apart from brief
glances of her on the rare
occasion when he voluntarily went to the
infirmary, he hadn't seen her since.
He had to do something, but what?
Jack
was adamant that he couldn't just let her go. Not only was she
now the mother of his unborn child, but she was also the
woman that
he was in love with.
~*+*~
And there ain't no way
I'm letting you go now
And there ain't
no way
And there ain't no how
I'll never see that day.
Shania Twain, Forever and for always.
~*+*~
It
was after three in the morning that he finally decided on what to
do.
The video that Teal'c had given him had contained
a copy of the
ultrasound, and Jack had watched the recording of their child in awe.
Of course, being little more than
three months old, the fetus looked
like a bad clone of Thor, but to his/her father's eyes, it was one of
the most
amazing things he'd ever seen.
Jack had watched the tape over and over until he decided to go and
see Sam and
get everything sorted out.
The infirmary was quiet, and the lights had been put on a lower
setting to allow for
the patients to sleep. Creeping past the other
people, Jack headed down to the curtain that he knew belonged to Sam.
She
was lying on her side, facing the wall with her body carefully
hugging itself. At first Jack thought that she was sleeping,
and was
going to leave it until the morning-well, later in the morning at
least- and then her saw the tiny shake of
her shoulders.
His beautiful Sammie was crying, and he had very little doubt that it
was his fault.
~*+*~
What
in the world
Can make you so blue?
When everything I'll ever do,
I'll do for you.
Roxette, The look
~*+*~
Careful
so as not to scare her, Jack lifted the blankets and climbed
onto her bed, sliding himself up behind her and spooned his
body
close to hers, his arms coming around to encircle her and rest on the
slight bump of her stomach.
"Jack?"
"I'm
sorry Sammie." He whispered, his face buried in the crook of her
neck.
She sniffled before replying. "Me too."
"I
love you so much Sammie."
"I love you too."
"I want this baby with you." He told her.
Sam wriggled out
of his hold and turned to face him. Jack brought his
arms back around to hug her.
"Babies." She told him, her voice
muffled by his shirt.
"What?" He murmured, stroking her back gently.
Sam pulled back to look at him. "We're
having twins Jack."
He grinned and bent his head to kiss her.
~*+*~
The End.
"We don't leave
our people behind." –Jack.
|
