|
Title: A Man Who Will
Author: Ky (Venom_69)
Fandom: CSI
Category: Romance, Holidays
Pairing: Catherine/Grissom
Rating:
Teen
Summary: She wants Gil, she wants Lindsey's happiness more.
Archive: My site. Anywhere else, sure, just let me
know where so I can come visit.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, never will. Promise to put them back in the state I found
them. Song’s not mine either.
Author’s notes: Fic 2/5 of the “Official Lisa Yaeger Christmas Challenge
2005.” I love this pairing, I truly do, but I just can’t write smut for them. It just doesn’t work for me.
Sorry Lisa! This is the shortest of the bunch, folks.
Date: 24/12/2005
Copyright © to Venom, 2005
***
How
come, How long?
It’s not right, it’s so wrong
Do we let it just go on?
Turn our back and carry on?
***
Everyone
has dreams. Something that they wish for, hope for, want, need, desire. It’s human nature to want what we can’t
have. It’s human nature to want something more.
Catherine Willows has wanted many things in her life. Shoes,
her boyfriend(s) to love her, a job that let her keep her clothes on, the ability to have fun without chemical interference,
a husband that doesn’t hit her.
She, like everyone else, always wants something.
Of all the things
her mother ever taught her, the only relevant piece of advice she received was “If you want something, you have to go
out and get it yourself, no one is going to do it for you.” So she did.
She saved her money and got herself that
pair of shoes she’d admired in the magazines. She’d dated men who loved her. She’d used that job as a way
out of her own corrupted world and put herself through school. She’d kicked the habit – with the help of some
very brave people, she admits – and she’d left the husband that used his fists to prove a point.
If she
wanted it, she found a way to make it happen.
Now, all she wants is for Lindsey to have the ability to smile and be
happy.
She doesn’t want anything for herself, not really. Her little girl’s happiness is all that matters
now and Catherine is content with the idea of spending her days ensuring that the little blonde angel sleeping before her
is safe and happy.
Men, since Eddie, have come and gone but she has long since realized that when all is said and done,
the only person she really needs is her daughter. A man wont giggle and smile simply because you do. A man wont love you without
questions or answers. A man wont hug you for the simple pleasure of it. The tactile action of having your arms wrapped around
someone without the promise of sex is simply too much for any of the men that she knows.
Nick would hug her if she
asked, but there would be a very motherly feel to it. Warrick would hug her, too, but the pull of attraction would still be
there. He is an attractive man and she is not dead, nor is she stupid. There is too much friendship twined between them for
anything like that to be attempted. She doesn’t think about Gil.
No, Lindsey is the priority.
When the
doorbell chimes, she is already halfway through making the screwdrivers. Catherine doesn’t leave the kitchen, he will
let himself in despite announcing his presence.
She doesn’t like to think about their friendship too much. She
feels safe with it, she trusts it, but she still knows that desire – and perhaps love – simmer beneath the surface
of their companionship. When she thinks about it, her wants become blurred and she has to force the surge of pain down to
be replaced with the smiling eyes of her daughter. She wants Gil, she wants Lindsey’s happiness more.
Gil comes
in to her kitchen to be greeted to two full glasses and he smiles. He is carrying a bright red stocking full of gifts in one
hand and Catherine immediately knows that they are for Lindsey. There is a carton of eggs under the other arm.
“Good
shift?” Even as he asks the question, the stocking is being placed on the counter while he moves to find her pans.
“Quiet.
You?”
“Fine. Surprisingly quiet for Christmas Eve.” Neither elaborate on why it was unusually quiet,
they just accept that it was.
Absently, Catherine swirls the swizzle stick in her glass. She wonders why the sight
of Gil being so domestic in her house brings a slight stab of regret to her heart, but she doesn’t really think she
wants to know.
“I brought your gift with me.” He is saying, “I thought you might like to open it
now.”
When he hands her a plain white envelope, Catherine isn’t certain what to do. It’s only on
auto pilot that she opens it. There is a card inside and it reads,
To My Best Friend Catherine,
May Christmas
bring all that you hope for.
Love, Gil
Inside the card is a day session at the spa.
“I wasn’t
sure what you wanted…” He explains, embarrassed.
“A hug.”
“What?”
“I
want a hug.”
He hugs her.
It's enough.
***
End
|
