Title: Reasoning
Author: Ky (venom69)
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager/Stargate: Atlantis
Rating:
Mature People
Summary: She cries in relief, clutching desperately at Elizabeth's pale skin.
Character/Pairing:
Janeway/Chakotay, John/Elizabeth, Kathryn/Elizabeth, Elizabeth/Carson
Spoilers: None… the show’s ended!
Warnings:
None, really.
Prompt Number for fic101: 29 - Stem
Author’s Notes: Song belongs to Bonnie Tyler. This fits in between
Transcendance and
valeria_sg_1's
Folding Time. Read Transcendence, read this, read Folding time. And then read
speckleberry's
The Colour Of Coffee because it's short, sweet and perfect.
Disclaimer: Usual guff. Not mine, promise to put them back where I found
them.
Date: 20/01/07
***
Every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe
as magical
or wonderful as you
Turn around
***
She cries in relief, clutching desperately at Elizabeth's pale skin.
"Kathryn."
Her name is a soft whisper from the sweet voice of purity and innocence. It wraps around her like a lover's arms -
perhaps it is when she speaks it - and the comfort that washes over her in waves is immediate. She holds her close, wet tears
leaking onto the swell of her breast.
Finally pulling back from her arms, Kathryn stares at Elizabeth. "It's been
so long."
"I know."
"Years, Elizabeth, years since I've seen you, since you've come here.
Years! I don't
even know how many."
A slender hand strokes her hair. "I know."
"So things were going well for you, then?" She
tries to make her words a joke, but an angry voice inside of her cries out in protest.
I needed you and you weren't here!"Not
really." Elizabeth takes her hand and pulls her to the sofa, the fabric of their dresses mingling together as they sit close.
"I couldn't come back."
"Why not?" She has never needed anyone as much as she needs this woman and it scares the hell
out of her. Kathryn presses a kiss to the bare skin of her shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent.
"I died."
***
Carson
sits by the bedside of his wife, holding her wrinkled hand in his as he listens to the rhythmic beeping of the medical equipment
as it keeps her alive.
Teyla is beside him, her own wrinkled hand on his arm as she watches their once-leader. "What
did the Doctor say?"
He sighs.
They are all so
old now and he finds himself unable to remember a time
when they ran this city. "Respiratory arrest. She's being kept alive by machines."
"I am sorry."
Carson runs
his free hand through the white strands of Elizabeth's once gloriously dark hair. John loved her hair. John loved
her
and Carson can only imagine what he would have said, to see her know.
The thought of their former Military Commander
makes him sigh again.
He loves his wife, he cherishes her beyond belief and, while some think that their love stems
from sibling-like affection - perhaps it does - he would do anything for her.
For years he had wished that it had
been him to die in the final attack.
Elizabeth had been broken, destroyed by the death of Colonel Sheppard. John was
the love of her life and Carson has never resented that for a moment.
He wonders what he would have done if John had
survived, if he would have married someone else and been able to have children.
Elizabeth had wanted kids, but she'd
wanted John's and Carson had never asked about it when they married. He doesn't regret their lives.
But he wonders...
"What
are you going to do?"
Teyla's voice breaks his thoughts and he smiles sadly at her. "Turn them off. She would never
have wanted this."
***
"What do you mean you died?"
"I died, Kathryn."
"What? How?"
"You
know I can't tell you."
"I don't understand." The scientist in her doesn't like that.
"I'm old, love."
Kathryn
wonders if she knows that her 'love' is accented slightly. She wonders why. "So am I."
"But not here."
"Never
here." Elizabeth smiles tenderly and touches Kathryn's hair, twirling the strands rich red strands through her fingers. "Something
happened, Kathryn. I don't understand it, I don't know how I know it, but something happened to one of us and it changed everything.
I couldn't come here anymore, I didn't know how to."
"And now?"
"Now I'm dead."
Kathryn chokes back a
sob. "Don't say that."
"I'm sorry, but I think this is our chance to say goodbye."
"I don't want to say good
bye to you."
"Me either." Elizabeth presses their lips together and Kathryn lets her pull their bodies close, taking
the distraction for what it is.
***
Admiral Janeway watches the recording of Voyager's arrival dispassionately,
turning the playback off when the newsreader's voiceover chimes in with the 'story' of that day.
She sips her mug of
tea and knows that she has to fix this.
All of this.
A few weeks ago, Elizabeth came to see her again
after so long. She had been in a lecture at the time and had, apparently, passed out.
One moment she had been facing
a group of eager young cadets that all wanted to hear her story, the next she had been back in that room - and the vain part
of her had noted that she looked no different - facing Elizabeth.
So long, she sighs to herself.
It had
killed her when she'd seen Elizabeth again. It had killed her and when she had come back to herself in the infirmary at Starfleet
Academy, she'd looked up the woman that had held a place in her mind and heart for so long.
She'd read all about her
life. John's death, her subsequent marriage to Carson, the war with the Wraith, her childless life. Admiral Janeway wanted
to speak with Elizabeth again, wanted to tell her of what happened in her life, ask questions about Atlantis.
Mentally
shaking herself, Admiral Janeway picks up one of the PADD's on her desk and reads through the plans carefully.
The
Admiral is going back.
She is going to make Captain Janeway understand - about Elizabeth, the dead crew, Chakotay,
Seven, everything - and she is going to see that Voyager gets home sixteen years earlier. She is going to see that her counterpart
doesn't have to experience the pain and hurt that she had.
Pain and hurt that tainted her every day that she had to
live without Elizabeth, without Chakotay, without
knowing.
She will fix this.
***
End
