Remember Now
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Title: Remember now
Author: Venom_69
Disclaimer: I don't own these people.
Date: 16-8-2002


I should be bitter. Any normal person would be, but based on that theory, I'm not normal. I wasn't upset when I saw them together, even though it felt like a knife had been rammed into my heart. It didn't worry me when they kissed, their display's of affection didn't phase me. But three little words broke my heart.

"I love you." He told her.

And the knife was officially twisted.

The words practically fell out of his mouth, with no hesitation at all, and yet, we were married for nine years and he never once told me that he loved me.

But with her, it just rolled off his tongue, like it was the easiest and most natural thing for him to say. She returned the sentiment and I felt jealousy well up inside me as I saw them.

I'm not jealous of her because she has something that I don't. I had him, I had him longer than she's known him. I had a child with him, which she will likely also have.

But I never had his love.

I know that he was content with me, he was happy, but the subject of love never really came up between us. We didn't get married for love. We met at a party, and what was supposed to be a one night stand turned into a baby, and a subsequent marriage.

I knew that Jack wanted children, as soon as I told him that I was pregnant, his whole face lit up. To be honest, I didn't want a child, and I don't think I ever told Jack that I considered aborting Charlie.

Although, despite how things turned out, I'm glad I didn't.

When our son died, so did our marriage. I'm sure that Jack cared for me, probably very deeply, but realistically he only stayed with me because of our child. We were happy, for a long time we were happy, but all good thing must come to and end.

I didn't want it to end, not at all. And when Jack, or the other Jack, came to see me, I thought that maybe he wanted to reconcile our marriage, and that made me happy. I was still hurting, but I'd stopped blaming Jack for the death of our son. He will never forgive himself, I know that, but if we'd talked about it, maybe we could have helped each other through the grief. I tried to talk to him, several times, but if I'd banged my head against a brick wall, that would have had the same effect.

We were good together, we were the best, but in the end there was so much bad blood between us, that we couldn't have saved what was left of our relationship.

I'm glad that he's moved on, I really am. I'm happy for him, he deserves to have someone in his life, someone who'll love him as much as he loves them and I guess he's found her.

I've met her before, she helped me in the hospital, right before I saw the exact replica of my dead son. I'm still not sure what happened that day, and I'll probably never find out, but in way it helped.

When Jack had finished with the. . . boy that looked like Charlie, he came to see me. And we talked, openly and honestly talked, which we hadn't done in a very long time.

He actually apologised to me, told me that he'd met someone. Someone that he could easily love. I gave him my blessing, which also gave me a little more closure.

I gave him the opportunity to come back to me, I told him that we could make it work. He politely declined the offer, and then he invited me to their wedding, but he didn't really expect me to go.

Believe it or not, I actually found the courage and attended their wedding. I wasn't exactly broadcasting who I was to any of the other guests, I just quietly slipped into the church just before the ceremony started and I sat at the back and watched as Samantha Carter became Mrs. O'Neill, a title that I once held.

So now, as I sit on my son's bed, I remember all of the good times that the three of us had, all of the good times that we could have had.

And I accept that I'll see him again, on the anniversary of Charlie's death, probably with his new wife there as well. The grave of our child is a place that we unconsciously meet at every year, but now I have to accept that he'll be with someone else too.

I just have to remember that he's chosen her.


Forget his name, forget his face,
Forget his kiss and warm embrace,
Forget the love that once was true

"Remember now there's someone new":

Forget the love that once was shared,
Forget the fact that he once cared,
Forget the times you spent together,

"Remember now he's gone forever"

Forget you cried the whole night long,
Forget him when they play your song,
Forget how close you two once were.

"Remember now he's chosen her"


Then end.

There are only two tools that anyone needs. Duct tape and WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the Duct tape, If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.